scheduled maintenance

It has been a hot one

2011-08-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

This summer has been incredibly hot and it has been one sweaty, steamy, muggy day after another. All of the rain and heat has been wonderful for the plants and my yard is gorgeous. It means a lot of work outside though, and it has been hard to keep up. Last year B finished screening in our back porch, and we have spent many a morning eating breakfast there and lounging in the early coolness. I gave the front porch a badly-needed fresh coat of paint in July, and so we spend many evenings ther trying to catch a breeze and watching the lightning bugs in the field across the street. We do not have air conditioning, so the porches have been quite a refuge for us.

Despite the heat I have thoroughly enjoyed the summer days with my children, and B and I made the decision that I would not be returning to work in August. This makes me incredibly happy, but it is a fleeting happiness because financially we do need to have some additional income. The past two years of me working evenings part time have been very stressful on the family and on myself and we just needed a break. I am so much healthier and happier and I will enjoy every minute of this year "off".

B and I have been married for nearly 14 years now, and it is amazing to me the way a marriage can continue to grow and also continue to surprise. This summer has been one of extreme growth in our marriage, brought about by some extremely serious situations. Working through change has always been challenging for us, but we have been able to work together and I am very hopeful and prayerful about the years ahead.

Keeping the home fires buring, even through the heat of summer is my source of contentment and happiness. I can hear the windchimes on the front porch calling my name right now.

Summer!

2011-05-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

It's summer!!! Well, actually, it is the beginning of May, but it is summertime to me because my job ended this week and I am officially on summer break until mid-August! This makes me feel like a kid out of school. I wake up with a smile on my face- the whole day before me. I have made lists of things to do and accomplish with my *free time*. I can leisurely cook dinner without rushing to get it on the table before 4:30. I can read to the kids every night and catch up on my prime-time TV viewing. My crafty side can indulge in some non-necessary stitching and sewing. Ah, freedom.

As a mother, there were so many times when I felt chained to the family- when I was sad about not having the time to do things for myself. As the kids grew I carved out space for myself in the wee hours of the morning, or during the breaks in our day when the kids actually occupied themselves. It was not really enough though, and I always craved more time to do what I WANTED TO DO. When I went back to work, my free time dried up completely and there was absolutely zero time for me to have to myself, so I just tried to focus on the money I was bringing in to the family and put all of my hobbies up on the shelf. Now that I am off of work, a waterfall of shelved desires is beginning to fall, and I am so happy for it! I am grateful to have the wee hours of the morning and the little breaks in our day to myself. I will take anything I can get and it is more than enough!

To take the focus of my selfish disires for a bit- I really do treasure the time I am able to have at home with my children. It is only when I have to be gone that I can truely be thankful for the gifts that I have been given by choosing to be a homeschool Mom. I never would have imagined that I could be completely fulfilled by caring for my family, but I am! I really love providing for them and caring for them and having them close. Yes, there were evenings when I left the house for work happy to get out of there, but I would have traded it for a second to be able to stay home with them- even on the stressful, tearful nights.

So now it is summer. The season of bounty. The season of growth. The season of warmth. And in my home, the season of gratitude, happiness and love.

Radnom photo of some dishtowels I stitched during my lunch breaks at work. I am looking forward to spening more than a few minutes at a time on my projects!

Five!

2011-03-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

My youngest child turned 5 yesterday.

It is my opinion that 5 is the perfect age for your child when you are a parent. I loved the age of 5 with my older two kids. They loved to cuddle and be carried, but they also were big enough to do much on their own. They were curious about how the world worked and were full of endless questions, but they also were forming their own opinions. They were on the verge of really reading and writing, but they still loved to be read to and held on laps. Five is the age when you really begin to see the person your child is becoming, and you love that little person!

My little Miles is the quintessential five year old. He can spend hours sitting still and building a Lego set, but he also has the need to run around the house endlessly as if he doesn't have to ever rest. He wants to learn to ride his bike without training wheels, but he is still afraid to try. He loves to pet soft animals and he can be very gentle and loving to our cats, but he can also visciously chase them with his toy cars and terrorize them with his yelling.

Miles still sleeps with us in our bed most of the time. We can convince him to sleep in his room with his brother once in awhile, but he is so cute and so cuddly that we can't resist letting him in. We know he is our last child, and with the years slipping by so quickly, we want to squeeze in every last cuddle and kiss that we can. It won't be long before those little hands are no longer reaching for ours in the night, and we won't remember the sound of his little voice.

I know that with each child's birthday there is a bittersweetness that is unavoidable. But with FIVE there is so much to enjoy right now!

Necessary chicken post

2011-03-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

At one time this blog was pretty much nothing but posts about chickens and running. I am really going to try and not do that again. As much as I enjoy both chickens and running, when I go back and read my entries I almost fall asleep with boredom. I think a once-in-awhile post is timely though, and because yesterday was the first day of SPRING I feel entitled to write a chicken post.

This week I will be putting 10 light sussex chicken eggs into the incubator (pic of light sussex is above). I am extremely excited about this. Last year we didn't hatch out any chicks, and we didn't buy any either. In the fall I culled the flock and only kept my 6 youngest hens and my old, favorite hen that I can't bear to get rid of. So I am only at 7 hens and that entitles me to some baby chicks! I really don't like to keep any more than 10 hens at a time. The coop starts to get crowded over 10, and even though I do sell eggs, it is a pain and I prefer not to do it if I don't have to. Ten hens gives us more than enough eggs for my family, my mother-in-law, my parents and some extra to sell or give to friends.

Right now I have 2 Buckeyes, 2 Welsummers, 1 Austrolorp, 1 Speckled Sussex and my old, favorite Americauna hen who at this point is at least 6 or 7 years old. All of these birds, with the exception of the Americauna are very dark. I really felt the need to get some lighter colors into the flock, and the Light Sussex are gorgeous birds with white feathers and a black neck. In May I have 5 Buff Orpington chicks coming, but I am only going to keep 2 of them and the other 3 are going to a friend. So I am injecting some white and gold into the flock and the result will be a beautiful diversity. I am dreaming about some blue or lavendar to make up a supremely colorful flock, but that will have to wait until next year!

Finding meaning in a meaningless job

2011-03-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

This week I am on spring break. I work in a store inside a dormitory at a local university and when the dorm is closed for university breaks I am on vacation :) I really need the break this time. I have been very busy at home and I have been working a lot of extra hours at work and it takes its toll on me.

I started working part time two years ago, and it was a real adjustment for me. I had a very hard time leaving my family. That worked itself out after awhile, and I can honestly say now that the hardest part about working is not being away from my family. The hardest part about working is finding some kind meaning in a meaningless job, and a motivation to work outside of just the money. It is very easy for me to get in a rut where I think about how meaningless my job is, how little money I make, how my health is suffering becuase of my lack of sleep, and how I could easily be replaced by another worker and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone. I feel like my intelligence and my college degree don't matter- and in my job, they don't.

I get very depressed when I start to think this way, and last year I spent a lot of time battling those feelings. This year has been much better, and I have really tried to find ways to make my job more meaningful, and cultivate relationships with my co-workers and students that make working more enjoyable.

It has been a stretch for me. The university students are wonderful. They are quirky and polite and really a joy to talk to. However, the employees are not that way. Most of the people I work with have been beaten down by life, they don't have postive family or home lives, they have major challenges that make my challenges seem very miniscule. Many of them have serious health problems, and most of them are living under the poverty line and collect some kind of government assistance. Over the summer they collect unemployment and they are happy with the work-during-the-school-year/ collect-unemployment-during-the-summer situation.

At this point I have gotten to know my co-workers pretty well, and it has been rewarding for me to be able to break through the facades and cultivate relationships with them. Despite our differences in our economic situation, our education and our values we have been able to form a kind of working family, and it has really made my work situation much more bearable, and at times, *gasp* fun.

It also makes me extremely grateful for the life that I have at home. I have never appreciated my supportive husband and my wonderful children more. When opportunities are presented to me because of our education or our financial security I don't take it for granted. I have been able to appreciate the opportunites that my children are able to experience and I no longer lament the opportunities that they can't take advantage of because of cost. I am around people everyday who can barely feed their own children and it makes my son not being able to take gymnastics very, very insignificant.

Also, I know that this working situation is temporary for me. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. When our debt is paid off I will not longer have to work, it will be optional-and the next time I go back to work it will be using my college degree to begin my working career. My co-workers are there becuase there are no other opportunities for them, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel never ends. Just the thought of that is unbearable to me. The fact that they are able to get up each day, struggle to meet their own needs and the needs of their families, and still work at this monotonous job and find some meaning in it, and even some fun in it is inspirational to me. It really shows me that the human condition and the human spirit are intertwined, but the human spirit usually wins the challenge. Could it be that this job has taught me something, that perhaps I am finding some meaning here after all? Of course it has, of course I am! My spirit has never been stronger!

Trimming the fat, paying off the debt.

2011-02-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

For a little over a year now, B and I have been extremely focused on paying off our credit card debt with the dream of living a debt-free life.

Three years ago B had a job change, and his income was reduced by 20%. At that time we both went through a period of denial, we did not reduce our spending or overhaul our budget, and instead of coming together to plan a new budget we went our seperate ways and spent like crazy, denying the fact that the debt was piling up.

After a year of that craziness I managed to face the fact that we were in serious trouble and we absolutely had to work together and restructure our spending. B and I finally made a written budget, and I got a part-time job. Yes, I got a job. After 8 years of staying at home with my children I bit the bullet and began my evening life as a cashier, while B became full-time Daddy at night. It was very hard for us to make the adjustment, but that is another post, so I will leave it at that. The money I brought in was minimal, but we did begin to slowly pay off our credit card bills.

Then Brian had his stroke. We had medical bills on top of our cc debt. I was physically and emotionally spent. B was recovering, and struggling with every-day challenges. However, through all of these challenges B and I held onto one another and our marriage remained strong. We knew that our family and our marriage was the most important thing to us, and struggling together made us more focused on our goal of living a debt-free life.

So a year ago, last February, is when our written budget became solid, our financial goals solidified, and we really began to work together as a team to clean up our debt and reorganize our finances. We have been married for 13 years, and this past year was the first time that we have actually been openly communicating about money in a concrete, focused way. I cannot believe it took us this long, and I am sad when I think about how far we could have come financially if we had been this focused at the beginning of our marriage.

We are doing the Dave Ramsey plan. I alternately love and hate Dave Ramsey, but I will admit that his Total Money Makeover book was exactly what we needed to read last year, and working the baby steps has helped us to stay focused.

At this point we still carry about $8,000 in credit card debt, but we have no other debt except the mortgage, and our written budget is very solid. We live beneath our means now the way we should have from the beginning. Every cent I make at my job goes to pay off the cc debt, and I get an amazing amount of satisfaction from mailing my check out each month and watching that balance go down.

Our goal is to have the debt completely paid off at this time next year, and for me to return to being a SAHM. If we can do that than it will have taken us almost 3 years to clean up a mess that took less than 2 years to make. But we have learned invaluable lessons that have strengthened our marriage and our family, and led us down the path of minimalism, to FREEDOM!

2010-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Nine months ago B had a stroke.

We were watching TV in the evening, and I thought that he had fallen asleep. However, when I tried to wake him he did not respond. I shook him and slapped him and did everything that I could think of to wake him. I dragged him off of the sofa and he fell to the floor. For a moment he seemed to wake up, but he couldn't really open his eyes, and his speech was jumbled and muted. My oldest son was still awake, and he laughed when he saw his Dad fall on the floor. He thought his Dad was very sleepy, and looked silly. I called the paramedics and when they arrived they immediately told me that they thought B had a stroke, and they were taking him directly to the hospital in Columbus that specialized in stroke patients (not our local hospital).

At this point I became very focused on my job as Mom and Wife and the adrenaline kicked in. I began to mentally prepare myself for the night ahead. I don't really remember feeling worried or sad, but I do remember having an intense desire to make sure my kids were taken care of and my household would be strong in my absense. My Mom drove over, and while I was waiting for her I packed a bag of clothing for Brian, my phone, my address book, my daily planner, and a notebook.
On the drive to the hospital I fervently prayed for God to give me the strength to get through the challenges that would lie ahead, and be a strong support for B and the kids.

Once I arrived at the hospital the doctors confirmed the stroke, and I had to give consent for B to receive an "experimental" clot-busting drug. The doctors told me that B was a perfect candidate, and the drug could completely reverse the effects of the stroke if it was administered within the first 4 hours after stroke. Of course I consented and the drug was administered.
The rest of the night spent in the hospital was the hardest part. I sat next to Brian while he remained unconscious. Periodically the doctor would check and see if Brian was responding to the drug, and the nurses came in and out to do their tests and fill me in on B's stats. I spoke with the social worker, who was nice, but gave me very pitying looks and made me feel like I should be much more upset than I was. She told me, "You are so strong", which made me feel strange, as if she expected me to break down and begin sobbing. I really did not feel a lot of emotion during this point. So much had happened so quickly, and I really was most concerned about staying strong for my family. I began to plan out the next couple of days in my mind. I mentally planned child care for the kids, the dog, I calculated our financial situation, and I prepared myself to make a lot of phone calls in the morning. Eventually the lack of sleep caught up with me, and since Brian remained unresponsive I left the room to try and sleep on a sofa in the next room. A kind nurse gave me a pillow and turned the light off, and as soon as that light was off all of the strength that I had been focusing on left me, and I cried alone in the dark, afraid for my husband, and scared that he would never be the same man that I had known for the last 14 years.

A nurse woke me after an hour or so of sleep and said, "He's back!" I rushed into B's room, and he looked at me and said, "Hi Amy". I ran to him and hugged him, and then of course I began to laugh and cry at the same time, hearing his voice was so overwhelming to me. The medication had done it's job. The blood clot had been broken up, and B was regaining his capabilities. At first he could talk to me, but his speech was slurred and he was very confused. One side of his body remained paralyzed. As the morning went on however, he steadily improved. He began to regain feeling in his hands and feet, and then he slowly began to move them again. He started to remember where he was, and his speech improved. By the end of that night he had regained his physical capabilites and he was able to communicate with me without slurring or garbling his speech.

B's hospital stay was short. He was only there for 3 days, but his recovery has been a long haul. He was able to go back to work only a little over a week after his stroke, but he had lingering speech and memory issues, and even now, 9 months later, he is still struggling with some memory issues.

After B's stroke a lot of things changed for our family. Even though it was a horribly scary event, good things grew from the experience. B and I have been able to open up to one another and really communicate about some things that were a real challenge for us to deal with before. We are able to work better as a team now, and some of the adversity we faced in our family life before the stroke seemed to melt away afterwards because of our dedication. Of course the incident left us with a renewed respect for life and the awesomeness of the human body and God's healing hand.

I also have found that I can be a very strong woman when the occasion calls, and that the bonds that hold my family together are tightly woven and permanantly affixed to each one of us.

Churchiness

2010-09-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

About 4 years ago we started going to church. We had young children and we had started to consider their developing spirituality. Brian and I come from different places as far as our religious history goes, but spiritually we are similar. We found a Methodist church in our area with a liberal congregation, we became members of the church and we have been relatively happy there up until the past year.

Last week I made an appointment to speak with the Pastor. Brian and I have decided to take some time away from the church for awhile, and I wanted to let him know our reasoning. I really like our Pastor and since I am pretty involved with the church I didn't think it was fair to him or to the church for us to just stop coming all of a sudden. I was also trying to avoid people from the congregation coming to our house to inquire why we hadn't been at church!

It was very hard for me to open up to the Pastor, but I left the meeting feeling relieved. Like I said, I really like the Pastor as a person and I consider him a friend- so there was a big part of me that didn't want to disappoint him simply because of that. However, I have always been relatively blunt, and when something is bothering me I do speak up. It did feel good to talk about why I have been unhappy at this church, and why I feel some time away would be a good thing. It was harder for me to tell the Pastor about the more personal things- the way I haven't always felt welcomed at the church, the coldness of the services, the elitist quality of the congratation, the micro-managing of every procedure done. Complaining about the church things was hard because there really is not a lot the Pastor can do about the institutional quality, that's the way the Methodist church is, but I felt that I owed it to him to be honest.

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail from my Pastor and I was touched. He suggested a few books for me to read, and he even suggested a few churches for me to check out in the area. He really is such a good guy- like many of the people I cultivated relationships with in the church, I am hopeful that friendship will outlast this little bump in the road that I am experiencing.

I am also looking forward to my Sundays at home with my family. Sunday was such a stressful time for us. Rushing around in the morning to get ready, my husband was not always on board and I still had to get the kids ready and deal with their complaints. I taught Sunday School much of the time, so I had to be ready for that, get my supplies togeter, then came Sunday School which was mostly good and rewarding except for some passive-aggressive adult personalities, and then church which was pretty much like sitting in school. Once we got home we were exhausted and I didn't really feel like the whole thing was worth it. I have never found God in the the church my entire life. I have found him in my relationships with others and in the challenging situations I face during adversity. Church just doesn't seem to bring about a spiritual growth for me right now, and because I really want all of my actions to be thoughtful and deliberate, I can't justify the church experience at this particular church for my family any longer right now.

I am committed to finishing out some things at the church that I am in the middle of right now, but by early October I will be done, and I am really looking forward to a decompression period of church-free Sundays. I will check out some other churches after that, and it will be interesting to see if my issues are related to all churched or just the one particular church I am coming from. However it works out, it will be a needed journey for me right now.

A year and 4 months later....

2010-08-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

I like this blog.
Just because I haven't posted in over a year doesn't mean that I have forgotten that I have a blog. I think about it often. I even printed out my previous entries so I could have a hard copy of them. I just have not been ready to write until now. I like to write when I feel positive and focused, and honestly, this past year has been a challenge on both counts. I have really had to focus on myself and my family in order to get through some things, and I am finally starting to feel like things are good again.
I still have my chickens and I still run, but the days when I wrote blog entry after blog entry about my chickens is probably over. My challenges now have become much less about myself and much more about my family and the people I relate to frequently. In one short year I have become a wiser, more thoughtful woman, and it has been a tough but also rewarding change.

Welcome Welsummers!

2009-04-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

My Welsummers are hatching!!!
And my youngest son had a birthday-but I'll write about that in another post when I have time to actually do some reflecting.
Right now I am giddy about this hatch. I started out with 14 eggs shipped from a backyard breeder on BYC (www.backyardchickens.com). C. dropped an egg immediately, so we put 13 into the incubator. After 8 days I candled the eggs and found that 6 of them were not viable. We were left with just 7 eggs.

On Day 21 we had our first Welsummer chick. It took him over 12 hours to hatch. Today is Day 22 and we have 3 more chicks, and one egg that is pipping. The remaining 3 eggs don't show signs of life yet.

This has been a very slow hatch. Last year when I hatched my own eggs they pipped and hatched so quickly, in under 12 hours. They also were all hatched out by Day 22. I believe the shipped eggs may take a little longer just becuase they have suffered some stress from the shipping, plus my room temperature is a little lower than it really should be. I think it is recommended that room temp be at least 65, and we are closer to 62-63 on most days. If I only get 4 chicks out of these eggs I will be disappointed. I was hoping to have at least 3 pullets and 1 rooster for myself and share some of the extra birds with friends of mine. That may not be happening this time though-with my luck they will all turn out to be roosters!

In order to deal with the staggered hatch, I decided to leave the egg turner with the Buckeye eggs in the incubator during the Welsummer hatch. I removed 3 of the turner flats and bulit cardboard walls around this gap. I put the Welsummer eggs inside of this wall with the hope that it would keep the hatching chicks out of the turner. It worked well on Day 21 when I just had one chick, but now that chick managed to hop over the wall and is sitting on the turner! Luckily he is not on the side that has the Buckeye eggs, so those cannot be harmed, but I am worried about the chick getting stuck in the turner. I may have to open the bator and push him back over the wall, though I will have to be careful as opening the bator could potentially kill any chicks that are pipping or zipping at the time.

More hatching eggs....

2009-03-31T15:25:00.001-07:00

I put 14 Buckeye eggs in the incubator today. Last week I candled the Welsummer eggs, and 6 of them were not viable, so I have 7 of them left due to hatch late next week. When they hatch the Buckeye eggs will still have about 10 days left or so, so I am going to have to figure out a way to have a very "non-messy" Welsummer hatch so the Buckeyes won't be hatching into an old mess. It's tricky, I am going to have to do a little research and try to figure out the best way to go about this. I originally meant to have them hatch at the same time, but since I did not receive the eggs at the same time I really couldn't work it out.

Both of these eggs are from backyard breeders, reputable folks from www.backyardchickens.com Buckeye Dave's eggs came packed in a box with the best care labels EVER! Take a look:

2009-03-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

Oh my poor little neglected blog. I'm sorry I haven't written for so long! My friends introduced me to Facebook and I just haven't seen the need to take the time to write a few paragraphs here when I can write a sentence on FB and feel complete. Plus, poeple actually respond and write comments on FB, and nobody reads you. But since I'm here anyway....

I put 13 Welsummer eggs in the incubator Wednesday. The Buckeye eggs didn't make it here in time to hatch the two breeds together, so I'll have to do two seperate hatches. That's okay with me I guess, it means I'll just have a dozen chicks in my kitchen at one time, instead of twice that. I can't believe that I considered not hatching chicks this year. It would be a lonely spring without any little fluffy butts to play with, I think I would actually cry over that.

Running is going well. The longer days mean that I can get my runs in AFTER I get home from the kids evening activities, so I'm slowly upping my mileage. I'm getting 15-16 miles a week now up from a pathetic 6-10 in January and 8-11 in February. I have had some really nice, warm runs in shorts and T-shirts this week, and I'm loving spring. I have a 10k race on April 19th.

Things are good at home. I am no longer stressed about B's job situation, just content to let the chips fall where they may. We'll know the outcome mid-May.

Time to find something to make for dinner, and get on my running clothes~

2009-03-05T07:10:00.001-08:00

Well, I sure feel like a big idiot. I was mistaken about daylight savings. In spring we "spring ahead", so getting up at 5:30 am would be like getting up at 4:40am. Total darkness. How depressing. I guess evening running in the forecast for me, at least until May or so. Crap.

Goodbye sunset, hello sunrise

2009-03-04T18:04:00.000-08:00

I received the best news this week. This Sunday is daylight savings, which means that it will be light at 6am and I can go running in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should have had this date circled in red on my calender! It is the end of the mandatory evening running, which I struggle with all winter long. I absolutely love getting up at 5:30am, heading out the door and drinking in the dawn. I love going to bed at 9:30pm, even in the summer when it is still light out. I have always been an early to bed, early to rise type, and my life is best when I live that way. I have been catching up on my sleep all winter, sleeping in until 7am or *gasp* sometimes even 7:30. So I'm refresed and ready to go~

2009-02-27T19:36:00.000-08:00

Since the job lay-off announcement I have been trying really hard to focus on the positive parts of my life, and now I have taken this one step further. I have decided that focusing on the postive is not enough. I am still allowing negative feelings and stressors to bother me and affect my overall well-being. I have truely decided that I need to focus really hard not just on the positive things in my life, but I need to act on them and purposefully bring joy into my life through my actions. I really need some extra joy-medicine right now!

Here are some of the positive things I have been grateful for this past week:
-a break in the bone chilling cold and some very nice runs
-longer days leading to many eggs in the nest boxes
-a good book
-my orthotics (always grateful for those)
-chicken soup
-a gift from a friend
-my warm bed filled with cuddly children
-finding my lost slipper
-sushi with friends
-flowers from B.

And in my desire to actively bring joy into my life:
-ordering hatching eggs. I'll have 24 eggs in the incubator this spring! And some gorgeous Welsummer and Buckeye chicks in my kitchen
-taking the time to really listen to B. I don't do that often enough and I miss a lot.
-rubbing C's back and getting a neck rub in return
-giving to others and getting a little bit of their joy back for myself.

Nothing new, no news...

2009-02-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

So, we are still waiting over here for news on B's job situation. This week was supposed to be the week when we finally got some news, but no, the state of Ohio seems intent to prolong our suffering. Basically we are waiting to see if B has more seniority than the social studies teacher at another juvenile correctional facility. If he does than he can "bump" this teacher out of the position, and B will become the new teacher there. If he doesn't than he is out of luck and needs to find another job, fast!
B is maddeningly cool as a cucumber, saying things like, "everything will turn out the way it is supposed to", and "life is full of change and that is a good thing". Meanwhile I am biting my fingernails and pulling my hair out in worry. B is one of those people who seems to rise above normal human worries. Nothing ever bothers him, you can't say or do anything that will stress him out or upset him. Sometimes I wonder if he is really present in this world at all, as he seems to float right through things and events that cause me severe distress.
I am really, really trying to relax and think positively, and not get bogged down with worry or negative feelings. I think I am doing a pretty good job, but every few days it seems to creep up on me, and I am finding myself going to bed earlier and earlier just to avoid worrying in the evening when it is quiet. Also, I have had some lingering headaches that I really can't attribute to illness or anything else.
I am so anxious to just find out one way or the other whether or not he has a job! I need to be able to plan our future and just get moving. I do not like this uncertainty.

Winter compost

2009-02-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

Aaahhhhh.....winter thaw.

It is one of those days where I can close my eyes and imagine that it is March. Yesterday and today were in the high 40's, the snow is melting, there is the drip, drip, dripping of water rolling off of the roof and I can crack the windows and let the cool air blow out some of the winter stuffiness.

On days like this there is work to be done in the chicken coop. During the warm months it is a snap to keep the coop clean, I just shovel under the roosts every couple of weeks or so. In the winter I have to wait until we thaw out. It is impossible to shovel frozen manure, so in December and January the droppings under the roosts just keep accumulating and freezing over and over again. When we get a break in the weather it is a chance to get things shoveled out(especially when you know that you have visitors coming and they will want to see the chickens and the last thing you want to show them is a stinky, smelly coop).

I only shovel under the roosts where it is mostly pure manure with a little straw mixed in. The rest of the coop really stays amazingly clean. The chickens spend the majority of their time outside, and even when the snow is too deep for them to go out they still seem to make the majority of their messes on the roosts and not in the straw on the floor of the coop. I only completely clean out the coop twice a year, and really that is all it needs.

I got a wheelbarrow full today, and lugged it outside where it will sit until tomorrow or the day after when hopefully the snow will melt enough for me to be able to see my garden again. I will dump this mess in a nice pile in my garden. Manure piles make the best garden patches. I grew the most delicious, juicy pickling cucumbers in a nice manure patch last year. I don't have enough manure to cover my entire garden, but it does help. In the summer I dump the manure into my compost pile, but in the winter it goes directly into garden. It has time to break down before anything gets planted and the straw helps with weed control when my garden explodes with weeds in early spring.

Here's my winter compost pile.

No manure in there yet, mostly fruits and veggie scraps, but I throw in eggshells, coffe grounds and tea as well. In the summer manure goes in. I am a lazy, lazy composter. I rarely turn the pile and I don't think about ratios of green to brown or anything like that. I just throw in our scraps and then a couple times in the summer I'll stir it up and come fall the stuff on the bottom is ready to spread.

My chickens have been a money pit in many ways, but that is becuase I am not a farmer and egg production isn't my top priority. The beauty and diversity they give to our yard, the rich compost they provide our garden, the delicious eggs and nutritious meat that nourish my family, that is where the real value lies.

Icy roads and screwy shoes

2009-02-02T16:22:00.000-08:00

I've already written quite a few posts on how challenging January has been for my running, but I am feeling a little more positive about February. I frequent a small online running forum and one of the women there gave me a big tip (thank you Jo!!!) that has me smiling. She has been doing some of her winter running in shoes that she has drilled screws into to prevent slipping on the ice, and shared the instructional link with me. I know you all can't wait to open this link:

http://www.skyrunner.com/screwshoe.htm

I wasn't sure how much screws in my shoes would help me out, but I had B. dig around in the basement for some appropriate screws and he found enough so I could at least test out the concept on my older running shoes.

I was excited to test them out. As soon as I started down the road I felt a few "bumps" under the balls of my feet so I turned around and went home to see what was up. After taking my shoes off and my orthotics out I discovered that the middle two screws on each shoe were poking through sole on the inside. I took them out and added them to the sides of the bottom front of the shoe, and I will have to get some shorter ones for the middle.

My shoes aren't perfectly screwed, but let me tell you, my first run in them was fantastic! A lot of it was mental. I told myself that I was was NOT going to look down at the ice under my feet, I was going to look ahead and focus on keeping as normal of a stride as possible. Usually I am hopping around trying to figure out which patch of ice looks the least slippery and I am slow and my stride is choppy. This time I put my faith in those shoes, told myself that I was NOT going to slip, and whattdya know, I didn't. It wasn't as if I was running on a clear, dry road, but I could almost fool myself that there wasn't ice under my feet.

The downside is that on the bare pavement you can hear me coming a mile away. "Clack, clack, clack, clack", on my road (which is usually pretty clear because it is a county road and actually gets a few cars and a snowplow once in awhile). My neighbor down the road must have heard me coming and yelled at me to put a scarf over my mouth! It was 15 degrees and she probably hadn't noticed me before but now I sound like some kind of oncoming army so I guess the jig is up.

No problem keeping my secret on the rest of my route. The roads look like this:

Fun, huh?
I'm hoping we thaw out in February.

Another January day, another snowfall

2009-01-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

Here we are again, another frigid day, another snowfall. I don't HATE winter, but I do get tired of it, and this winter has been tough on me. I cannot remember a January that has been this cold and this snowy since I have had children, and it is definitely worse since we moved further north.
Last night B. parked the car as far down the driveway and as close to the street as possible so that he wouldn't have to spend hours shoveling out before work. Still, this morning when I peeked out the window at 6:30 he was shoveling, so I knew we must have had another big snow during the night.
It fell all morning. I went out to feed the chickens and open the coop and it was about 8" high on my walk to the barn. That's 2/3 of the way up my boots. At 1pm I went out again to gather eggs and the snow was over the top of my boots, and the drifts were much higher. At least the snow had finished falling.
I went into the barn and saw this:

In a matter of a few hours snow had blown in the door of the coop, and divided my chickens in half. Some of them were on the left third of the coop by the food, and the rest were on the right (the part you can't see in the photo) side up on their roosts. They didn't seem to happy about having to cross that snow line!
Sometimes a little snow will blow in the coop, but the door is over a foot off of the ground so the snow has to be at least a foot high to blow in.
So I shoveled all of it out and lay new straw, and then I shut the door so those poor chickens will not see the sun today. Though they would never go out in this deep snow anyway!
In a couple of hours I will head out to shovel the end of the driveway so B. can pull the car in when he gets home.
And no, I don't think I will be running tonight!

2009-01-23T04:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my son called me into his room to look at yet another Lego creation. Usually he wants me to ooh and aah over some kind of supernatural robot or a building filled with booby traps. This time was a little different though. He said,

"Look Mom, my minifigures are having sex!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or be kind of creeped out. I mean, I thought positioning dolls in sexual positions was just something girls did with their barbies.
I never thought my son would even think to do this with his Legos.
I guess it makes sense.
He thinks of his minifigures as little real people, and he has been rather curious about sex lately.

But still, ugh.

To his credit he chose the tribal minifigs from the Indiana Jones set, the ones that have very little clothing. Their gender was a bit ambiguous. But I guess that discussion will come later.

Winter running hits its low point

2009-01-21T13:55:00.000-08:00

So my January running has been a little less than ideal. My goal for the winter running was to clear 15 miles a week, but, uh, that has not been happening. December was close, but I am embarassed to admit how little running I have done so far this month. Let's just say that I am way, way under par.

It doesn't help that this month has been absolutely frigid, so my motivation to go out has been very low. Today it was 15 degrees when I went out for my 4 miles, but with the sun out it was bearable. We had a couple of days where the high was 8, 10, 12 degrees and I didn't even consider those days at all.

I guess I am a big baby. I never said I was tough. In fact, I rather enjoy snuggling under a blanket on the sofa and looking at the icy roads, knowing that I won't be running on them that day.

But then I look at my meager mileage on RA(www.runnersadvantage.com)and I feel my base slipping away.

I'm still pretty indifferent. I'm not training for anything. Winter running to me is simply there to maintain my base and keep my sanity. Come late February the tides will begin to turn and I am going to have to grit my teeth and get out there. In the meantime I am enjoying the respite and praying for a heat wave.

Inaguration Day 2009

2009-01-20T12:13:00.000-08:00

Snow Day

2009-01-14T16:07:00.001-08:00

So I promised the kids we would go sledding today. But then we got this:

And I won't drive in that.

So we had a brownie party instead! I finally figured out how to bake good brownies. It has taken me years. I would get so frustrated because it seemed as if every time I tried to bake brownies the inside would be underdone, the outside would be overdone, and I would feel like a huge failure because can't everyone bake brownies???
I finally figured out that a combination of following the Betty Crocker recipe EXACTLY (yes, I do beat the sugar, eggs and vanilla for 5 minutes, not just 1 minute), setting my oven temp to 365 and cooking for an hour, covering with foil and cooking 15 minutes longer will get me soft, cake-like brownies, with no hard crust and no underdone mess in the middle.

That is fresh whipped cream. As in fresh from the cow. I am lucky, lucky to have a good farmer friend who gifts us with fresh milk and cream. It is just as yummy as it looks.

We ate brownies and drank hot chocolate with whipped cream and played some games. Sledding was forgotten and Mom once again took her rightful reign as queen of the universe, aka BEST MOM EVER!!!

2009-01-14T04:18:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a few days since my last post, and I have to say that after the initial shock I am feeling much better about things. My family has a lot of blessings, and I have come to feel that things usually do settle in the right places, and work out for the best in the long run. Even though we are in a period of change I can shrug off the stress and continue to enjoy my family and the present, and I do.

I was a little down for a few days, I will admit, but not down and out. I used those days to clean up my sewing area and now my machines are sparkling clean, oiled and run like butter. I made a dress for my daughter out of some fabric that has been sitting in my stash for YEARS-I'll post a pic in a bit when I can get her to model. I also majorly decluttered. I have a ton of fabric, notions and patterns that I am ready to move out! Hopefully I can sell them quick and get excited about working on some new projects.

For Christmas this year I bought the kids a sewing machine. I have a Singer 221 Featherweight that I had been letting F sew on, but it is in need of a tune-up and because it has sentimental value to me (it was my Grandmother's) and it is also a rather sought after machine, I decided to retire that for my own use. I settled on this Hello Kitty machine by Janome. I didn't try it out in person, but the reviews were good and the price was right, and I have to admit that the cuteness factor won me over. Well, let me tell you, this machine is a GEM! I am very, very pleased with it. In fact, I would be happy to use this machine as my own. I honestly thought that it would be like one of those low end Singers that you can buy at Target or Walmart. But this is a sturdy machine! With metal parts! And an awesome stitch!
C is working on her skills-sewing pretty with Hello Kitty!

Hopefully F will come around and the girliness of this machine won't deter him. He is a pretty good (um, what's the male word for seamstress? Taylor? That doesn't sound right) sewer, and I really did buy it for both of them.

Now I have 5 machines in this house. Is that crazy? For the amount of sewing (or maybe I should say non-sewing) that I do, yes, I think it is a little over the top!

Ohio's crappy economy hits a little too close to home

2009-01-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

I am in shock.

We found out yesterday that B. is losing his job. The institution where he teaches is closing. It was completely unexpected and sudden.

I am not ready to completely freak out just yet, but I am in a bit of a daze. Our best hope is that he will be transferred to another institution and that with his seniority he will be able to "bump" out a teacher with less seniority there. Less than ideal, obviously, but at least he would have a job (really unfair to the other teacher, but that's the way the system works). The other institutions are scattered about Ohio so we would be looking at a move in the near future.

Our worst fear is that he will not be placed and will have to look for a "regular" teaching job in central Ohio. That is a nightmare I hope he never has to go through again, and I don't know if he would be willing to go through that again right now.

I have a knot in my stomach that I am trying to ignore. I love living here. I love our home, our neighbors, our location. I really thought we would retire here, but like the song says, "life is what happens while you are making other plans".

I am needing a real pick-me up, but it looks like we'll be snowed in for the next 2 days so I will settle for some more sewing at this point. The long runs will have to wait.

2009-01-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

This has been one of those days that can't end soon enough.

Yesterday we went to the crazy mouse house where the kids loaded up on soda and pizza and cupcakes, and then went on a mad gaming spree to win tickets for candy. In all fairness it was for F's birthday, but now we have the day-after sugar lows and whine-fest.

The roads are icy and snowy so we didn't go to homeschool group which caused an uproar. Whining ensues. Kids fighting. M. has peed all over the house. He also dumped out every bin in the school room-very quietly I might add, so it was not noticed until it was too late. Math was done, but then begging to watch a movie becuase they are so BORED. No, no, there are thank-you notes that still must be written-have they already forgot the generosity of their loved-ones? Of course they have. More fighting over specific pen, which paper to use, and "I'm writing to Grandma first-so you CAN'T!!!!"

And then the thing that bothers me most-the begging for food. I cannot stand to cook anymore than I have to, and on days like today it is even worse. Nothing I make is good enough, they are STARVING, only certain foods will do, blah, blah, blah. These are the "eat it and like it, or starve" days. Thank God I did a little extra work in the kitchen last night so we could have chicken soup tonight with very little prep. Oh how I envy those of you who are in love with the kitchen and take great pleasure in nourishing your families. I read your blogs and want it to be me so badly.

Time for a cup of tea. I feel like crap, I haven't run in 3 days and I just ate the last of the cupcakes. I am working on cleaning up my sewing area and hopefully tonight I can sew myself out of this funk.

2009-01-03T16:57:00.000-08:00

Honestly, is there anything more exciting to a 6 year old than losing that first tooth? Can't think of anything? Neither can she-

Logging those miles

2009-01-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

New Year, new goals.

Running goals that is.

I have discovered www.runningahead.com which a website that takes the place of the pen and paper logs I have always kept. I am not very good about logging my miles. Even when I am in training I try to avoid writing down my mileage, which really is not practical. I think it is mostly because when the numbers are in front of me I tend to get stressed out about the details and then I get stressed out about running. Because running is so important to me I try to keep it as low-key and stress-free as possible. When I stress about it, it is no longer enjoyable. So for the past 2 years I have avoided keeping any kind of log and therefore I have avoided any kind of accountability to myself. I can just continue to classify myself as a casual runner, getting in 20 miles a week during the summer, 15 in the winter, steady, slow mileage increases, no interval workouts, just enjoying my runs. Becuase I don't vary my workouts, and usually run about the same mileage each week I have just kept kind of a mental tally of where I am mileage wise and this keeps me at a nice distance from accountablity. I am part of an online forum where I do post my daily mileage, but I don't keep a record of it myself, and it really is just a social outlet for me.

But who am I kidding - I am not being good to myself. I have lofty goals this year and I am at the point where I need to log my miles and workouts and be accountable. I desire not just to reach my running goals this year, but to do so strong and injury-free. I KNOW that I will reach a point where I will become obsessive about the numbers, and I will stress out about the work-outs, and I will not look forward to my runs. But I can't avoid it any longer. This is the natural cycle that occurs in training, and I'm ready to face it and accept the challenges that come with accountablity.

My first major event of 2009 will be a 25K in May. Accountability, here I come.

A love story to wrap up the year

2008-12-31T11:32:00.001-08:00

Well, the last day of 2008 is upon us. Rather than bore you with a list of resolutions I am very unlikely to keep, I think I will bore you with a little love story instead.

Twelve years ago B. and I ran one of those run to the new year type of races. You know, the ones that start at 11 or 11:30 and then you celebrate the new year with your fellow runners. I remember that I had to work until about 10pm, and then B. picked me up and we drove to the race just in time for the start. It was frigid, but we had a great run. I don't have any record of our times, but I believe we finished together and just relaxed and enjoyed it. We finished before midnight so we ran out to the parking lot because B. wanted to get something out of the car. At this point B. realized that he had locked his keys inside the car, so as our fellow runners were yelling "Happy New Year" to one another we were standing out in the freezing cold waiting for AAA. Once we had the keys, B. had me wait outside for a moment. Before I knew it he was on one knee proposing to me! I was completely floored and caught by surprise. Even now thinking about it I am swept up by the romance of it- B. knew I preferred a race to a fancy dinner and that made him the perfect partner for me.

Can you believe that B. still has his race shirt from that day? It's not because he is a romantic, he just can't bear to get rid of any clothing that has not been completely worn to shreds:

Usually with the busyness of the holidays and F's birthday on the 29th, I don't give too much thought to our engagement date. But this New Year's Eve I am feeling a bit nostalgic. I think we'll crack open some champagne for once and toast the past 12 New Year's Eve's we have spent together.

Happy Birthday F!

2008-12-30T10:26:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday F!
Eight years- how could it be this already?

I would love to post a picture of you as a baby, but we did not have a digital camera then. In fact, we were new parents and we didn't think there was a need for a digital camera or a video camera or any sort of photo organizing system. Alas, you got shorted when it came to documenting your early years. The earliest digital image I have of you is this one when you were 2.5.

Look at those chubby cheeks and big blue eyes! Your eyes are still big and blue, but your chubby cheeks have been replaced with a leaner, older face. This past year you have really grown up, and that sweet little toddler has been replaced with a fiercly independent, creative and positively unique boy who surprises us, pleases us and infuriates us regularly.

F, you are my heart. My oldest boy, my mini-me. My lego-building, Calvin and Hobbes reading, super-hero loving, naturally athletic and musically inclined child of promise, and joy of my life.

2008-12-25T09:29:00.000-08:00

I've struggled with enjoying the holiday season this year. I've found myself getting caught up in the details and letting the days pass by with a flurry of activity but without anything substantial enough to nourish my soul. So I've been feeling kind of empty and a little melancholy which is very unlike my normal state of being.

A couple of days ago we were driving home from holiday visiting with family and the weather was horrible. It was sleeting and the roads were icy and slick. As we drove North the roads got worse and suddenly we found ourselves skidding across the road. As the van spun out of control and off of the road I found myself oddly calm and accepting of the fate that lay ahead for us. We bounced over an embankment and down an incline and landed on the frozen grass. Immediately I checked the kids and said a prayer of thanks that everyone was unhurt. As B and I collected parts from the van off of the grass and made sure that it was drivable, I was suddenly struck with the holiday spirit that had been eluding me this year. Perhaps it was the reminder that nothing is more important to me than having my family safe and close. Or that no matter what events occur or how packed the schedule is, life rolls on and takes us with it. Most of the time I'm a happy traveler on that road, but sometimes I go kicking and screaming. The relief that washed over me also washed away my worries and petty holiday concerns and left me feeling full with love and thankfulness for my family and my place in this world.

So now on Christmas Eve I am thankful, I am peaceful, and I am basking in the holiday goodness that really is there all of the time underneath the other stuff.

Merry Christmas to you, all of my dear friends!

2008-12-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I am still playing hostess to a flock of freeloaders. How old are those pullets now-32 weeks? We are getting absolutely NO eggs from our hens, and only 3 of the pullets are laying. So that gives us 2-3 eggs a day which is absolutely pathetic!!! With the amount of food these chickens eat and the amount of money it costs to feed them I better be drowning in eggs this spring.
At least my son's dinner doesn't get wasted anymore.
It think this is the corn and sweet potato he refused last week:

We also have a rabbit who has shacked up with the chickens. We got Pumpkin this past summer and my tender heart felt so bad for him cooped up in his hutch that I allowed him to pretty much roam around the yard at will. I'm still not sure if this is a mistake or not, as obviously he is at risk from predators (and he is pooping in our garage), but he is very social and seems to enjoy haning out with the chickens, and yes, even the cats.

He no longer allows us to catch him and put him back in his hutch, and he will not be tricked into it with food-so I guess he is fending for himself now. Sometimes we can still pet him on one of his better days- but absolutely no more cuddling, which we do miss.

For sweet Gigi and Grandma S.

2008-12-12T10:45:00.000-08:00

After being stuck at home with sick kids for nearly a month, last Sunday I headed out for some window shopping and much-needed alone time. I wandered around Macy's looking at the glittery ornaments and fine china, and I was filled with memories of my grandmothers. I lost both of my grandmothers this past year, and as I walked the aisles I couldn't help but feel their presence with me. My sweet Gigi had a love of the finer things, and looking at the finer Christmas decorations I knew which ones she would like and which she would turn away from. Some of the golden wreaths with the frosted balls and greenery and the tabletop decorations reminded me so much of her that I had to blink to hold back my tears. My Grandma S. always had a Higbee's box under her tree, and I can be sure that many of her ornaments came from there. In fact, I have several of her ornaments on my tree now. She certainly was with me on Sunday at Macy's.

When I returned home I still had the memories of my Christmases with my grandmothers playing in my head. Both of them were so dear to me. Christmas is such a happy wonderous time, but for those of us still mourning a loss, it really is bittersweet.

I decided to finish a quilt that had been sitting unfinished on my sewing table for months. My Grandma S. would have loved it. It is Moda Funky Monkey on flannel-it's free motion quilted.

When I was a girl my Grandma S. would make a sock monkey for me each Christmas-all the way through high school. I loved anticipating that present! She was so creative and each year she outdid herself. I would like to share a few of the monkeys she made for me that I have saved:

The one on the left is cowboy (I have unfortunately lost his felt hat), the middle one is runner monkey (the uniform was modeled after my HS cross-country uniform and even has my last name on the back), and the one on the right is girly monkey(hand embroidered dress, bonnet, shoes and purse with a coin inside).

I also have a set of very small, felt ornaments that my Grandma S. made. They are at least 25 years old and they are still beautiful. My kids love putting them on a mini-tree each year, and as I look at the perfectly stitched felt and knotted sequins I can almost see her sitting in the living room with my Grandfather, hand sewing as he watched TV and dozed in the recliner.

These memories are so precious to me, thank you for letting me share them with you.

2008-12-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

We are living in a sick house over here. Everyone is sick. First it was the chicken pox that kept us home for two weeks. Then it was this yucky stomach bug that kept us in, vomiting and wretching. Still this doesn't stop the begging to go out-

"Mom, PLEASE can we go the gymnastics Christmas party, please, please, please!" said from the bed still covered in towels from last nights vomitfest.

"I'm all better now-can I have my advent chocolate?"

"But I want to go to Grandma's! WAHHH!!!"

Remember that post when I wrote about how nice it was to stay home and get things done? Well, now I am desperate for a little time away from the kids. Last night I went to the grocery store alone and I felt like I was on vacation. I didn't want to come home to needy children and soiled sheets and mountains of laundry.

Today is looking up. No one threw up during the night. C. wanted sausages for breakfast. F got dressed right away. We'll see.

Gobble, gobble!

2008-12-01T07:29:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Day morning I ran a 5 mile turkey trot. It was so last minute-I didn't know if B was going to have to work, I didn't know if M would break out with the pox, there were a lot of variables. But by Wednesday PM I decided to run it. I really needed the endorphins after a long week of sick kids and depressing evening running.

I wanted to break 39:00 (I figured a nice just under 8 minute mile pace with a quick first mile and last mile would do it)

It was huge-thousands of runners. I was swept up by the rush at the start and bolted out in the first mile. My first mile was 6:30-ish (I am guessing as I missed the mile marker and didn't check my watch until someone said "first mile" behind me). Way, way too fast-I really could not believe I was going that fast, but then I started to feel it in the second mile. My second mile was around 14. I was way under pace, and I knew I was running out of steam. Really, the next 3 miles was aq battle, as my body and my mind protested the whole way. I finished in 37:23. Way, way faster than I ever would have predicted. In fact, just over the 3 mile mark I was still under 22 minutes! All summer long I tried to break 23 minutes for a 5k, and here I was in a 5 mile race a whole minute FASTER than I had run all summer in 5k's.
At the end I got my free pumpkin pie, said hello to a local runner I see occasionally (she beat me by a minute-dang it, she is so darn fast), and drove home.

I really honestly am kind of in shock over my super fast time. I had no idea I could still run that fast. That first mile was as fast as some of my first miles over 10 years ago when my 5k's were always in the 21 minute range. I think the fact that I put in some good solid 20 mile weeks in September and October helped me, and I really cannot discount the orthotics. Those orthotics are the BEST thing I have done for my running, EVER. My feet haven't hurt me since I started wearing them-and even though the rest of my body was totally sore on Friday, my feet were not. And maybe I really am getting stronger. I kind of thought I had reached a plateau, but maybe I am stronger than I thought.

So anyway, this race was a nice reminder to me that I CAN accomplish time goals if I truely do work hard enough. The thing is, I really don't like to work all that hard. When I am racing I reach a point where I am just not going to push myself anymore, even if I know I am capable of going faster. I just don't do it. I am not a super ultra competitive runner (anymore), even with myself. But that 5 mile time certainly was a nice boost!

2008-11-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

We've been cooped up this past week while F. and C. suffered through the chicken pox. Honestly, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. About 3 itchy days and then the spots started to scab over. M. has not broken out yet, and I am amazed. How could he have not have contracted this when he was exposed at the same time as the other two? So now we have to wait another 10-21 days to see if he breaks out from exposure to his own brother and sister *sigh*

So anyway, the kids have been lounging around, and I'll tell ya, I could get used to this lounging around business. Not having to go anywhere or do anything for a week has been agreeing with me. I am enjoying sipping my tea and snuggling under a blanket to watch Elf for the hundredth time with the kids. I got all the ironing done. I was able to run for 5 evenings in a row. The house is neat and schoolwork is done. It feels good to ditch committments and relax.

Here's a pic of the damage on my lovely C:

And a puzzle we finished in two days (only becuase we were home of course. Otherwise it would have sat on the table for a week). It's a winter one, but it's cold enough here to be winter so it's fitting-plus it's pretty:

I just want to be able to make a quiche

2008-11-23T18:03:00.001-08:00

We FINALLY have another layer. One of the Delawares started to lay this past week at 28 weeks. That is 9 whole weeks after Penny started to lay and 5 weeks after Sugar. Why so darn long? And what I can't believe is that there are still 2 Delawares who aren't laying yet, as well as our little Easter Egger.

What's up chickens?

Last year all of my pullets were laying by 22 weeks. We are barely getting 2 dozen eggs a week at this point, which is really pathetic considering we have 11 hens. But when you have 3 that still won't lay, and 5 that are seriously molting, then I guess 3-4 eggs a day is okay.

*Sigh* Still, I am not used to not having enough eggs. I actually had to ration them out last week to make sure I would have enough to boil later in the week.

My bet is this: The last 2 remaining Delawares will start to lay by 30 weeks, the Easter Egger by 32

Happy 6, little C.

2008-11-23T14:05:00.001-08:00

What can I say about C?

She is as delicious as a strawberry.
Her eyes sparkle like blue sapphires.
Her enthusiasm is unmatched, but she can also be as quiet as a mouse.
Her hands love to draw, color, paint, glue, sew, and hold her teddy tight.
Her legs are strong and love to jump, dance and kick.
She is about a million times smarter than any 6 year old should be, certainly more so than I was at 6.
She is an older sister and a younger sister, a leader and a follower.
She has a loose tooth!
She finds beauty in nature and the world around her
She is unashamed to pray aloud (unlike her mother)
She still believes that all wishes can come true
She is my only daughter and a part of my soul

Happy Birthday C!

I'm back

2008-11-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

I've been away for a bit due to some computer issues, and having to use B.'s ultra non-user friendly laptop for the past couple of weeks.
During that time we found out that chickens love pumpkin:

And we had our first snow. Just a dusting, but enough for snowballs and a snow angel:

My beautiful daughter also turned 6, which I will post on in a bit.

Goodnight garden, sleep tight.

2008-11-01T16:45:00.000-07:00

The garden is done. We have had two weeks of frosts and freezes, and I finally was able to go out today and put the garden to bed for the winter. I pulled out all the dead tomato and pepper plants, shoveled chicken manure over bare spots, and lamented over my poor peas that barely blossomed before the cold shriveled up the tender blooms.

It always feels good to leave the garden for the winter. The summer maintenance gets to be a drag, and this fall was very dry and I had to do as much watering as I did in the summer. After the first freeze I let the chickens in the garden and they were in heaven. All summer long they stare at the garden, probably dreaming of fresh greens and fat earthworms. They literally ran in as soon as I opened the gate. Now I can leave the gate open for them until late-April when I begin to plant again, and they can dig, scratch, poop, and dust-bathe until their hearts are content. I did cover my garlic patch with a blanket temporarily, and I will have to put some kind of netting over it for the winter so they don't scratch up the cloves.

I still have a little work to do. I am moving my compost pile over a bit, and I would like B. to till certain areas. I also need to find some cement blocks or heavy rocks to hold down the cardboard that I have spread over the grass where I am expanding the garden.

Then I can let the garden get a good, long, restful sleep.

Oh mighty food processor!

2008-10-23T07:36:00.001-07:00

My birthday is coming up. Usually I buy myself some clothes, but this year I decided to buy something that I could really use. I have wanted a food processor for a long time. I don't really like to cook, but out of necessity I cook nearly everything from scratch and I spend an awful lot of time in the kitchen. I decided to go all out and buy the best one I could afford, one that would be able to do all the things that would really cut down my time in the kitchen. I recieved it about 2 weeks ago, and I can honestly say that I have used it nearly every single day since then. I have sliced potatoes, cucumbers, carrots, shredded cabbage, carrots, onions, cheese, I have made butter, and I have made apple sauce and pie crust. I LOVE this food processor!

The verdict is in

2008-10-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

And the mystery green egg layer is....drumroll......Sugar!!
This is really exciting because we expected Sugar to lay brown eggs. Her father was our White Rock roo, and her mother was an Easter Egger. Her mother laid green eggs, but my research last year (NOT scientific by any means) led us to believe that the male determines the egg color of their offspring. So the fact that Sugar lays green eggs blows this theory out of the water. Sugar's eggs are a dark olive green. The darker the egg is, the more brown-eggs layers the hen has in her family tree. So I would say that Sugar is pretty far removed from an Americauna chicken, but she still lays pretty eggs!

Here is a picture of Sugar's egg (in the middle). On the left is Penny's brown egg, she is also a pullet which is why her egg is small. For comparison, I put one of our White Rock's eggs on the right. The pullet eggs will grow in size as the hen matures:

A little time correction

2008-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like I didn't break 23:00 after all. I was able to access the official race results a few days ago, and my official time was 23 flat. I started my watch a little late at the start, and I was sure than since I timed myself at 23:00 that I would have at least one second taken off of my final time. No such luck-I'm stuck with 23:00 as my seasonal best.

However, Felix's final time was something else! He ran a 26:16!!!! The time I had for him before was based on my family's recollection, but goodness, were they off. He was a speed racer on Saturday!

I have a 10k (thank goodness no more 5k's for awhile) in two weeks that I am looking for.

Oh, and a little post-script on the orthotics-obviously they did not hinder me in the 5k, I am thinking that they are pretty fantastic right now.

All in the Family

2008-10-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday I ran a last-minute 5k. My Mom had a little family reunion of sorts and my anut and uncle from Michigan and my aunt and uncle from Pennsylvania came in to visit. My Uncle Tim (Michigan) is a long time runner and triathlete who inspired me when I was younger(and still does), and we have run lots of races together. He found a local race near my Mom's, and he ran it, along with my other aunt and uncle, me, B., and F.

This was F.'s first 5k ever. He has wanted to run one for awhile, but I didn't really just want to turn him out completely unprepared. He runs with me or B. once in awhile, but he has never run more than a mile and a half at one time. I told him that he should just take it easy and if he felt very tired or worn out he should walk. Well, he shocked all of us. He finished in 26:37-he ran the whole thing, and he beat his dad!!! I had already finished and I was walking down to where my family was standing on the sidelines when I heard "Here comes F.!" I turned just in time to see him booking it in to the finish. My heart almost burst with pride.

As for me, I ran a pretty good race. I started out fast, my first mile was about 7:30, so I knew that if I wanted to break 23:00 I would have to keep up the pace and even pick it up a little. It was hard for me because I didn't have anyone around me to pace off of, but I managed to finish in 22:59. I FINALLY broke 23-my goal for the season. The funny thing is, I should be ecstatic, but really, I am just relieved that I don't have that goal hanging over me all winter long. I did manage to win first overall woman, and I got a $50 gift certificate to a running store near my Mom's. That is really cool, especially since I am in desperate need of some new tights.

Here are some of us after the race, F., my uncle Tim, me, and B.

At 23 weeks we have another layer!

2008-10-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Another one of our pullets began to lay yesterday. We had some friends over, and C. and her friend came to tell me that they discovered a green egg in one of the nestboxes. I ran outside, and sure enough, there was an olive-green egg nestled in the straw!

This is really exciting because it could be the egg of our new easter-egger (who is supposed to lay blue or green eggs), OR it could be the egg of the white rock/easter-egger mix we hatched out ourselves this spring. If it is her(Sugar), she will prove wrong our theory that egg-color is a trait carried by the male. Our rooster was a white rock, which is a brown egg layer breed. So according to our theory, Sugar should lay brown eggs. This olive green was so dark, that I could tell that whichever pullet laid it had a lot of brown egg layers in her family tree. I am going to be stalking the nest box the next couple of days, because I really have a good feeling that this is Sugar's egg!

Orthotics update part 2

2008-10-12T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well, after a week with the orthotics, I must say that so far I am very pleased with them. I have not had any notable soreness or pain in my ankles, knees, back, or any of the areas that my chiropractor alerted me to. Yesterday I wore my running shoes all day running errands and the like, and I realized that I hadn't thought about the orthotics all day! So that must mean that I am used to them :) After a 4 mile run today they felt fine, so I am thinking that the breaking in period is about over. The real test will come in how they perform over time and once I start really increasing my mileage. If my feet can handle it I will be ecstatic! I do still have a little mental hang up about them being "heavy". I know that I will get over this once I stop thinking about them being in my shoes during my runs, but right now I am so acutely aware of them that I almost feel them slowing me down.

I will get to see how these things work during a race this weekend. My mom called me today and asked me if I wanted to run a 5k with some family this weekend. I said sure, but honestly, I am not thrilled about running another 5k. I am so sick of them-I really would prefer not to even think about 5k's for a good long time. But, it's for family, so what the heck. Maybe I can rustle up a little excitement :)

Breaking in the orthotics

2008-10-08T18:02:00.000-07:00

This is day 3. Sunday after my race I walked around in them a bit. They were stiff but not majorly uncomfortable.
Monday I ran 1 mile. Yes, you read that right, 1 mile. I walked in the orthotics a bit before and then headed out. At first they were a bit annoying, it felt like I had rocks under my arches. I stopped to stretch out my calves (the hamstring stretch also stretches the achilles and helps with PF)and on the way home the orthotics felt just fine.
Today I did 2 miles. I had a bit of soreness in the knees today, but since I am completely changing my gait and the way my body is held that is expected. The orthotics themselves feel okay.

I actually thought I would have some real muscle and joint pain while adjusting to these things, so I am pleased that so far my body seems to be adapting well. Tomorrow I am planning on wearing them for most of the day. I can't run on Thursdays because of schedule issues, but on Friday I will head out for a 5k and see how I do. I have a month to break these things in before my next race, and I want to do it the right way.

The best race EVER!!!

2008-10-08T17:28:00.001-07:00

Sunday's 10k has to be one of the best races I have ever run. Everything was perfect: the weather, the setting, the race conditions. Running in a state park in the fall is one of the best ways to overload your senses in a good way!

My goal was to maintain an 8 minute mile throughout the race, and I actually did that. I have to say, my adreneline was pumping so much that it was ALMOST easy. I can't say it was physically easy because the course was tough. It was hilly, and we had to run over a dam on the grass cross-country style. Luckily it has been dry and there was no mud to deal with or slippery spots. There was also a massive set of 35-40 stairs leading up the side of the dam that we had to run up in the 4th mile. When I saw those steps I looked at them in disbelief. We had to run up those??? I could see people walking up the steps at the top and I tackled them head on by bounding up them two at a time. By the time I reached the top I was also walking! It probably took me a good half mile to get my breathing back to normal after those things, they were rough. Mentally the race was a piece of cake. I had several runners to chase and to pace off of, and I was just so happy to NOT be running another 5k and the beauty around me was so overwhelming that I was in runner's heaven.

By the time I was heading into the 6th mile I was ecstatic. I knew I was going to beat my goal time. I finished in 49:41. I placed first in my age group and 5th overall for the women.

This race reminded me of why I am a distance runner. It has been so long since I have felt that great rush during a race where everything falls into place both physically and mentally and I feel like I can run forever. The only way for me to get that reward is to get the miles under my belt and compete. I have struggled getting back into the groove these past two years after giving birth to M., but all of that struggle is so WORTH IT.

Orthotics

2008-10-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

I have been living with plantar fasciitis for 10 years. In reality it has probably been longer than that, as I do remember having pain even in high school, but I was "officially" diagnosed 10 years ago. It was after my third marathon, and I was in so much pain in the days afterwards that I could not walk. I was lucky to be an OSU student at the time and I was able to take advantage of the Sports Medicine facility. They fixed me up, taught me how to stretch and exercise my feet correctly, and then told me the horrible news, "This will never heal, but with proper care it can be magaged".

So since then I have stretched, massaged, iced, rested, and done my best to deal with it. It has always been managable, but this year I did have some issues when I began to add on some more miles, and I am always in pain after I really push myself during a race. Because my child bearing days are behind me and I have lofty distance goals on the horizon, I knew it was time to invest in some good orthotics.

I decided on a brand that my chiropractor recommends, mostly because I am not to keen on going to a podiatrist just yet (I am willing to down the road, but I have a feeling they will recommend some things I am not comfortable with yet), and I trust my chiropractor's opinion. I stood on a scanner while my feet were scanned, and of course my arches were a mess. They have fallen up near the ball of my foot as well as near the heel. The scan was sent to a lab where they made custom orthotics for me. I got them yesterday and they sure are heavy duty. I was hoping to wear them for my race on Sunday, but there is no way they will be broken in enough for that yet. I wore them around a little bit yesterday, and my feet didn't hurt, but last night my legs started to ache. I was told that because the orthotics are changing the way I stand, the pressure on my joints and such will take some time to adjust to and I may have some achiness.

I have high hopes for these orthotics. If I can run a race foot-pain free I will rejoice! I'll start breaking them in again next week after my race~

New egg alert!

2008-09-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

We got our first egg from the new batch of chicks we hatched/bought this year! It was from Penny, our golden comet. She is small, and the egg is small and smooth and a light chocolate color. It is just perfect! For the record, she was 19 weeks when she laid the first egg. We are waiting on five more pullets to begin laying, and we are so excited to see those eggs!

2008-09-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

I love running in early fall. The evenings are cooler, the leaves are just now starting to change, and the fallen ones crackle under my feet. The sweet smell of corn is still in the air along with hints of bonfire smoke. It is such a glorious time of year to be out in nature. Even running in the evenings aren't so bad when I have this kind of overload of the senses to fill me up.

Run the Jug 5k race report:

I won my age group and came in second overall for the women. My time was not great, 23:48. However, I gave up my goal of breaking 23:00 this year awhile ago, so I can be happy with this result. I am still having a hard time swallowing that fact that my best 5k time was at my first 5k of the season~ that's not the way it's supposed to work!

Thank goodness I am done with 5k's for now. I have a 10k to look forward to in a week, and maybe I will be lucky enough to find some longer races over the winter. I love the longer races where I can really relax into the distance and get to benefit from some of that "runner's high" that is nonexistent in a 5k.

2008-09-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have a 5k on Sunday, and honestly, I could care less. I just want to get it over with. I have been so diappointed with my 5k times that I really just need to move onto something else in order to get over this hump. What I am really looking forward to is a 10k I have next month. I haven't run a 10k in a long time, probably at least 9 years. I can't even find any of my past 10k times, which may actually be a blessing considering I seem to have a problem fixating on past times and then being disappointed with the reality of my slowness. So I feel like I am starting anew! I am going to go into this race with no preconceived notions or expectations and just enjoy the distance.

I have two more runs this week before my 5k race on Sunday afternoon and I am really just going to try to relax and visualize running my race with a positive attitude and a healthy, happy body. Hopefully that will help me to avoid any ugly mental hang-ups that could creep up on me on Sunday and prevent me from enjoying the race.

2008-08-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

Weekend morning runs are the best. I can sleep in a little, run a little extra mileage, and let B. handle breakfast and the kids.
Today was amazing because something happened to me that has NEVER happened in the 2 years that I have lived here. I saw another runner!!!!
I almost could not believe my eyes. I have gotten so used to being completely alone that the sight of someone else up and running at dawn seemed kind of supernatural. I decided to catch up with her and try to chat. She was friendly, I ran with her for a bit and I learned that she lives only a few miles from me. She is training for Columbus and runs part of my route on her long runs. I was too polite to ask her too many questions, but I did show her my house and let her know the times that I am out and running. I am hoping to run into her again-I would love nothing more than to have a friendship with someone local that I can talk shop with and partner with on long runs.
I have been kind of down on myself lately with the running. I have been feeling so slow, and transitioning into evening running has been hard. I have been trying to accept that my goals are often very lofty and meeting them sometimes is not always a possibility within the time-frame I give myself. So this happening today was just the thing to give me a little boost and back into a positive running mindset.

Here Comes the Night

2008-08-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Summer is starting to wind down. The nights are getting a bit cooler, the school bus is passing by my house, my black-eyed susans are curling up and browning. Autumn is my favorite season of the year, except for one very notable thing. The shorter daytime hours mean that I have to transition into evening running. It is just too dark for me to leave the house before 6am without the fear of a coyote jumping on me or the boogeyman hiding behind the trees waiting to get me. It is an irrational fear of the dark I suppose, but one that hinders me.

I struggle with evening running. In order to make sure I get those runs in I have to plan every evening out in detail, and at least a week in advance. Forget about the nights I have to drive kids to ballet or tap or cub scouts, even a magician couldn't fit in a run on those nights. Count in B. working OT on a few nights, and then the dinners that must be ready BEFORE I head out the door, or I come home to a hungry, whiny, demanding family. It is stressful for me, and tends to make me anxious about an activity that usually relaxes me.

I could try to get over the morning darkness fear. Right now it is only dark when I start out, by the time I am halfway done running morning is dawning. I could probably squeeze out a couple more weeks before my runs would be in total darkness-something I would NOT consider doing at all! I am trying to reassure myself that I can do this-I still have two 5k's and a 10k left before my season is over, and I have goals that have not been met~ so I have to find a way to get those runs in and overcome the morning or evening obstacles that stand in my way.

Showing off the pullets

2008-08-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

Our pullets are getting so pretty! They are at 16 weeks now, and they fit in with the big girls nicely. The boys are all gone, and the coop is pleasant. Show-off pictures:

This is Penny, our Golden Comet

Sugar, mixed breed of our White Rock rooster and our dark-colored Americauna (Easter Egger)

Fluffy, Americauna (Easter Egger)

One of our three Delawares. I love how she is stretching her wing here and we can see the gorgeous black dapples on her wing feathers

Looks like a good day to butcher

2008-08-21T05:46:00.001-07:00

Got up early this morning, and no, it was not to run. Instead, B. and I butchered a couple of chickens before he left for work. We have been so busy around here, and this morning was the only time that we seemed to be able to fit it in. We are hustling because the chickens are nearing 16 weeks, and if we wait much longer the meat may be tougher than we would like.

Now that we have a couple of butchering jobs under our belt, the actual butchering is not so bad. I posted about our horrendous first experience last fall, but now it really isn't a big deal. The plucking though, and the dressing is so tedious and so time consuming. I find myself picking out little pin feathers and cursing to myself. This morning we did two birds, and I was on the second bird when I heard M. screaming from upstairs. We butchered at about 6:30, and it was probably around 7:15 or so. I was hoping that the kids would sleep a little later today so that I could get everything done and cleaned up before they woke, but that was not the case. I had to prematurely shove the birds into bags and stick them in the frige for a little while so that I could get the kids fed and happy. Afterwards I finished up quickly, and now we have two birds clean and resting in the frige.

We still have one lonely Barred Rock cockeral waiting for his turn, but we just could not fit him in this morning. So hopefully this weekend we can get to him. Ugh, butchering is so unpleasant. I dread it. It is nice to have our own meat that we have produced ourselves, but like I mentioned before, the work involved is so tedious and time consuming that it is almost not worth it. I say ALMOST though, because the alternatives involve either buying substandard chicken from the store, or paying a pretty penny for organic chicken from a local farmer. So we choose to butcher our own, endure the unpleasantness and the mess, and just get it over with.

We had some really interesting cockerels this year. We hatched them all ourselves, so they were the offspring of our White Rock rooster and various hens. The best ones, the most meaty ones were the pure White Rocks, the ones with the White Rock mother. The ones with the Barred Rock mother were pretty good sized (this is all relative because they are all scrawny little things), but they had a little more fat on them, and the skin was a more yellow color. We also had a cockeral whose mother was a Buff Orpington. He looked like a true mutt. He was white, with muddy gray and black spotting on his neck, wings and tail freathers. He also had some gold feathers here and there. He had the albino-looking legs, but his skin looked like that of a White Rock. When he was a chick he looked like one of our Delaware chicks, and I wrote a whole post about how confused I was about his looks. I didn't know at the time that he was the offspring of the Buff Orp! We also had a cockeral who was the offspring of our buff colored, bearded Americauna (Easter Egger) hen. He had every attribute of a white rock except for his small comb and his beard! I snapped a picture of him here right before we butchered him. He was the first one we butchered this summer (at 14 weeks), bucause he was the biggest.

I am already missing the diversity those cockerels brought to our flock. B. wanted to keep one of the roos, but I had to remind him how the other roos ended up, and how much more pleasant things are now in the coop. We won't need a roo to give us chicks next year, as I am planning on hatching Welsummers and I am going to order hatching eggs from a breeder. Let's hope Welsummer cockerels are tasty-we'll be doing this all over again next summer!

Here is a picture of three of the boys in the holding pen. We seperated them from the rest of the flock the night before we butcher them in order to keep them from eating. We prefer to butcher chickens with empty crops! From L to R, Barred Rock, White Rock and Buff Orpington cross, White Rock.

2008-08-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am in a crappy place right now with my running.

I ran a 5k last weekend and I was very disappointed with my time. I tell myself that relaxing and enjoying the racing experience is more important than what the clock reads at the end of the race, but the truth is I get a great deal of satisfaction out of meeting my goals. I have wanted to break 23:00 all summer, and I have yet to do that. I feel like a slow, old mule, plodding along purposelessly. The funny thing is, before I ran that race I felt great. I was very confident, I felt strong, I was sure that I was going to meet my goal that day. I usually don't disappoint myself when I have strong positive feelings such as those, so it is puzzling to me that I ran so slow. I am not going to post my time because I just want to ignore it, but it was slower than any 5k I have run this year.

Also, my darn feet have been hurting me again. I am trying to manage it, but they pretty much hurt all day long now, the left one moreso than the right. I have been pretty pain-free for most of the summer, and I was thinking that maybe I finally had the conservative training model perfected, but no, here we go again with the massaging, the stretching, the ice and the easing up and resting. I am going to have my chiropractor do a scan of my feet and fit me for some orthotics, so hopefully that will help me a bit. It is time for me to do something, as I am so tired of having to deal with this constant distraction.

I am not going to end this post on a depressing note. Instead, I will write about something that happened during the previously mentioned race that made me gloriously happy! B. ran the race with me! He is not a runner, but he did used to run with me way back when we were dating. In fact, he proposed to me at a 5k race! This recent race was in our hometown and since there wasn't any real travel involved I asked him if he would like to run the race with me. Well, surprisingly he did want to, and he did well considering he only runs once in awhile. I was so proud of him, and it made me reminisce about the "good old days" and how even though our life together has changed in many ways, the things that brought us together then, still keep us together today.

Once a juggler, always a juggler!

2008-07-26T13:12:00.001-07:00

Last week we packed up the kids and headed down to Lexington, KY for the International Jugglers Association festival. Brian and I are so rusty, but we have never been to an IJA festival and this one was only 4 hours away. Plus, my sister lives in Lexington, so we were able to drop the kids off with her while we attended workshops and the like. It was really great. It was just a great feeling to be around so many other jugglers, and learn and observe and enjoy ourselves in a like-minded environment. We were able to attend the youth showcase and juniors championship and we were completely blown out of the water by the ability of those kids! Seriously, most of those kids were better than most of the jugglers at the convention. AWESOME.
Photos:

This photo isn't mine, but it's so cool that I wanted to post it anyway. At the end of the festival there was a toss-up in the gym, what a celebration!! I still can't figure out what those white, blobby things are in the front-they look like plastic bags!

A family shot outside of the convention center:

And finally, doing what we do best:

The race that almost never was

2008-07-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

This post is WAY overdue-I ran this on July 4th

I was so sick on Thursday, my son and daughter had just gotten over a stomach virus and I woke up Thursday morning with it. My lovely Mom came over and took care of my family while I slept and vomited It's a quick virus, by afternoon I had some soup, and by evening I was walking around and thinking about the fact that I had a race the next morning, lol.
I decided to get up and drive down to the race no matter how I felt the next morning, becuase I paid $27, and I was going to at least go and get my t-shirt!!!

Friday AM I felt a little wobbly, but I had a bowl of cheerios, some kefir and a banana. Then I took an Alleve to kill the residual achyness and headache, and so I could fool myself into thinking I was 100%. I started to think that I could probably run the race, I mean, it was only 4 miles, I run that all the time. I could just run it slow, and pretend I was at home running.

I left without telling dh I was running, I just wanted to get my shirt. Once I got there of course I got excited, and forgot all about being sick. I had to really talk to myself and tell myself to not go out fast, to just relax, to enjoy the run, who cares if the 11 year old girl passes me-

It was a really great race, super well organized, it was large, a chip-timed event. It was in a part of Columbus I am familiar with and it was so nice to run on the city streets again after all of those miles on the quiet country roads. I held myself back and I am glad I did because I had a really enjoyable race. My breathing was easy, it felt so nice not to be so focused on on passing the next person in front of me or checking my watch every minute (in fact I purposely left my watch in the car so I could not do this).

I was thrilled with the race. I finished in just under 34 minutes (33:56), my original goal had been to break 32 minutes. So even though I tried to hold back, I only held back about 30 seconds per mile, and I did still run faster than I do at home which is about a 9 minute mile. Plus, I felt good at the finish! I thought maybe I would be exhausted, but I think the adreneline was pumping, and I also imagined sweating out the sickness during the race and that helped. Also I'm sure the Alleve I took before the race helped some too

I am proud of myself for driving down to the race Friday morning-I was very close on Thursday night to just turning my alarm clock off. I don't think I would have forgiven myself for giving up that $27!!!

Catching up

2008-06-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a little while since I've posted, but it's been a busy summer. Baseball games, a little vacation/family reunion, gardening, all that good stuff.

I'm really pleased with how my running has been going this summer. I really feel that I am getting much stronger. I am sure it has to do with the fact that Miles is barely still nursing and I am also really listening to my body's nutritional needs. I remember feeling really drained quite a bit last summer, and even some over the winter, and now I just feel so much better. I wasn't able to run a race in June because my weekends were full with baseball games on Saturdays and church commitments on Sundays, and I am itching to race again. I would like to run a 4-miler on July 4th. Last night I slipped in the barn and sliced open my big toe on a piece of metal (I will NEVER wear flip-flops in the barn again!), so I will have to see how it is healing before I plunk my money down.

I bought some new running shoes and did something shocking! I have run in Brooks for the past 10 years, but I decided to shake things up and I purchased a pair of Asics (GT-something or other). They felt good at the store, but I had a hell of a time breaking them in. My plantar fasciitis flared up and I was ready to return the shoes when finally they started to wear in. It is amazing to me that breaking in a pair of running shoes is such a big deal. I mean, they really aren't all that structurally different, especially the ones that I run in. But I also can see how with all the stress I am putting on my feet, just a small adjustment can make my oh-so-sensitive feet cry out.

The garden is thriving, the chicks are getting nice and fat, and our hens are adjusting to life without Big Daddy Rooster. We said an overdue goodbye to him last week. RIP Big Daddy Rooster!

Delaware? White Rock? Delaware? White Rock?

2008-06-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

We have a situation here.
We got 3 female Delawares from the Hatchery this year. When mature, they look like a White Rock, but with some black feathers in the tail and wings, and black markings around the neck.
Now, we also hatched several White Rocks in the incubator. When mature, they are snow white, and as chicks they also feather out as all white.
The chicks are all 4 weeks old now, and it looks as if we have 4 Delawares! One of our White Rocks has the markings of a Delaware and I have no idea which chicks are the REAL Delawares and which is the White Rock. Can you tell?

I'm thinking that the rooster (the one on the right) is the White Rock because I ordered females from the hatchery and even though they do sometimes make a mistake they were all smaller than the ones we hatched, and they still are. Now if that rooster does turn out to be one of the Delawares I will be happy to have him. The rooster we have now is vicious and I would be thrilled to put him in the pot!

Fresh butter and chives-oh my!

2008-06-04T17:46:00.001-07:00

I don't really enjoy cooking or baking, you won't see any recipes posted here! However, I do enjoy cooking and working with veggies or fruit I have grown, or eggs from the chickens. It is very satisfying for me prepare a meal using ingredients that I have worked hard to grow. Right now all I have in my garden that is ready to eat are a few greens and some chives. I tried something new today, and when I made butter I kneaded in some chopped chives and chive petals. Oh my-it is delicious!

Track and Field with homeschool flavor-

2008-05-31T05:35:00.000-07:00

So my kids may never do track and field. I can honestly say that is the ONLY thing about them not attending school that I am sorry about. But for now we have the next best thing-Homeschool Field Day! The highlight of our academic year, I'm sure-

The long jump:

Sack race:

3-legged race:

There was pie-eating, lego building, water balloons, and of course some unique games that I really have no idea what they were or how they were played, but put a bunch of homeschoolers together and that's what you get! Oh, and of course, the requisite potluck with WAY too much food-

2008-05-20T18:17:00.000-07:00

B dug the juggling bag out of the garage last night. We're going to the IJA convention in July and thought it best to start getting back into shape. See, I may identify as a juggler over there in my profile, but the truth is, B and I do very little juggling nowadays. Lucky for us you can't really "forget" to juggle, but if you could we certainly would have forgotten by now! I opened the bag this morning, and there before me was a heartbreaking sight. All of our juggling balls, the good ones, the $8 a piece ones, were nothing but scraps. Birdseed was all over the bottom of the bag, along with mouse droppings and shredded paper. So our juggling bag was a mouse home and buffet over the winter. And now the only juggling balls we have are the 5 new ones I bought B for Christmas (a purchase I hestitated on, but now I am really, really glad we have them!). It's not a huge loss-I only juggle 4 balls anyway, B will do 5, when we pass we mostly use clubs. But those were the balls that we learned to juggle with. They were our first big equipment purchase. B and I were still dating when we bought those and they sat on the mantle at our wedding. They were getting too soft, and some of the material had gotten thin and a little stretched out. One ball even had a piece of tape on it covering a hole that one of the kids bit in it at one time. So they needed to be replaced anyway. But the loss reminds me of the years that have passed, and the days when those balls never would have been shoved in the garage. Juggling balls have been replaced with errands and cleaning and teaching and the full days of working and parenting. I guess it is significant that bit by bit we are losing the material possessions of our past, as we are continually growing and changing ourselves. But the memories that linger of those days......so hard to let go.

Race results, and some more new babies

2008-05-12T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I am pretty happy. I ran my 5k in 23:41, faster than any of my 5k times last year. This race was the smallest race I have ever run in, there were probably less than 30 people running. I had absolutely no one to run with for the entire race. Three men were way ahead of me, and the rest of the field was way behind me. It was a lonely, lonely race, and it was tough because usually I can keep up my pace better when there is someone alongside me or right in front of me but I had to do that all on my own which was not easy. My splits were pretty good, 1st mile was 7:33, 2nd mile 7:37, last mile with the extra tenth of a mile was 8:30. I did slow down that last mile, and that's where I think I could have maintained my pace better if I was not running alone. But anyway, I did win first overall female, and I have never done that before, so I feel pretty good about it even if it was by default :)

Pics of our hatchery babies:

Golden Comet, "Penny"

Easter Egger, "Fluffy"

Delaware, one of three, no names yet

It is amazing to us how much hardier our incubator hatched chicks are compated to the hatchery chicks. They are growing faster, they seem more energetic, what at difference.

First race of the season

2008-05-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

I feel I have to post again because tomorrow I run my first race of the season. I am excited about this 5k because I feel stronger than I did last year, and my goal is to really trim down my 5k times this year. My times last year were so pathetic, I am embarrassed to even post them. It was my first year back after having my third child so it was a rebuilding year. Actually though, I think of this season as my rebuilding season because I don't have to start again from scratch, I am already fit and strong and I just need to be conservative about laying on the miles. I know that the speed will come, I'm just not sure how quickly that will happen for me. After tomorrow I should have a much better picture of what I can predict for myself time-wise. My goal for tomorrow is to break 24:00, I would love to break 23:30. I realistically think I will fall somewhere inbetween the two times. My goal for the season is to break 23:00.
Oh, and there's a kids run! A first for us-

Final count

2008-05-09T06:21:00.000-07:00

Final count from incubator hatch stands at 13. Six of those babies will be sold and the remaining 7 we will either keep or eat depending on sex. We received 5 hatchery chicks a few days ago as well, so yes, we are overrun with baby chicks at the moment!

The incubator hatching experiment was a great elementary lesson in genetics for my little ones. We predicted the appearance of the chicks as well as their appearance when they are mature, based on our knowledge of dominant traits our rooster and hens posess.

We knew that our White Plymouth Rock rooster and White Plymouth Rock hens would produce pure White Plymouth Rock chicks, so no mystery there.
We predicted that our rooster and our Barred Plymouth Rock hens would produce barred chicks because we learned that barring is a dominant trait-we were right:

The crossing of our rooser with our Easter Eggers was a toss up. We didn't know what to expect since our Easter Egg hens are such a mix of genes anyway. We did predict that our buff colored EE hen would hatch out a white bearded chick, and we were right! Check out that cute little fluffy beard!

Our other EE hen is dark with a little brown and no real dominant traits, so we thought the chick would be a little of this and that coloring, and I guess we were right there as well as she is a mix of brown, white and yellow.

Now we are trying to predict which chicks are male and which are female. But believe me, we won't be doing any vent sexing in this homeschool-

THEY'RE HERE!!!

2008-05-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

Day 18, and a lovely gift!

2008-04-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

Today is Day 18 for the eggs and I am so excited I can hardly stand it!!! Tonight I will take the eggs out of the turner, make sure the water in the bator is full, and wait for the pipping to begin. Day 21 is Friday and I just know we will be peering into that incubator all day long.

Sunday our neighbors brought us a wonderful gift. A chicken tractor! They said they wouldn't be using it anymore and they brought it to us! It was so timely, as I was just starting to stress about how to house the new chicks once they outgrow the brooder. I still have to build a new coop for them later to house them permanently, but at least now I have a little more time.

I have big plans for this tractor! Today I will give it a good cleaning in and out. Then, I need to modify the doors on the house inside so I can close them at night (to protect the chicks from possible nighttime predators). I will also need to put some hardware cloth over the wire that is already on there because it doesn't offer enough protection for chicks. Finally, a new paint job will help it out quite a bit. I'm thinking white with a red chicken stenciled on the door.

Egg update

2008-04-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

Today is day 14 for the eggs. Last week I candled all of them. I found the brightest, small flashlight I could, and shined it through each egg to see if they were developing properly. Because the eggs are brown and the shells are thick it was a little tricky to do. I had to turn each egg around a couple of times and move the flashlight up and down but eventually I got the hang of it. Three of the eggs I could see right through, so my guess is that were never fertile to begin with. They were eggs from one of the White Plymouth Rock hens, and both of my White Rocks are my big free rangers so I don't think the rooster gets to them as much :) One of the other eggs-from a Barred Plymouth Rock- had a very small blob inside of it, maybe a bloodspot. The embryo probably died the first or second day because I only saw a couple of blood vessels and the rest of the egg was transparent. The rest of the eggs were filled with blood vessels and had a prominent air sac at the top, right where it is supposed to be. The middle was too dark for me to see anything, but obviously that is where the embryo is. Some people have been able to see the little chicks heart beating when they candle, but I couldn't see nearly that well.
We only have a week left, I am so excited! This is our first hatch and I really want those little babies to do well. Here is a pic of Mr. Rooster, the big daddy of all of these little embryos in the bator!

crossing my fingers for my feet

2008-04-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

I am ecstatic. I have transitioned fully into morning running, and my feet don't hurt!!!
I did it right this year. I have been getting up early enough so I have enough time to walk around and stretch for at least a half an hour before hand, and I haven't gone all crazy and upped my mileage just because it's spring-
It has been two full weeks and I haven't had a single twinge in my feet, this is unreal to me. I really want to hold onto this, so I am formulating a gentle plan for upping my mileage.
Right now I run 4 miles every other day. Normally I would add an extra day to the mix, but that would bring me from 16 to 20 miles or 12 to 16 miles a week. I know my feet would pay for that kind of rapid upswing. I think what I am going to do is continue with the every other day routine, but increase one of my days by just 1 mile. So I will just tack an extra mile onto one of my runs. I'll do that for 2 weeks, and if I am pain-free I will add another mile after those 2 weeks. Hopefully this will be a way for me to add the miles without the pain.
By my calculations I will be at 32 miles a week by August-enough for me to decide whether or not to make the big marathon committment-
We'll see. I have learned that conservative is best in the long run (no pun intended there folks!)

One fine day in April-1995

2008-04-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Patriot's Day, and unless you live in Massachusetts you probably aren't familiar with this holiday. UNLESS you are a marathon runner. Then you know that Patriot's Day means BOSTON MARATHON day-the running of the oldest and most prestigious marathon in the United States.

Each year when this day comes around I get nostalgic and reflective because I am lucky enough to be a Boston Marathon alum. I qualified for Boston during my first marathon ever, at the tender age of 21. Old enough to appreciate the company I was in, but not old enough to really take the time to reflect and let the experience sink in.

My life at the time was at a turning point. I had some rough years under my belt, but my running really pulled me out of the muck and I was happy, my life had direction, and I felt as if I was growing into a person I could be proud of. When I ran the Columbus Marathon in November 1995, my parents joked with me and told me that if I qualified for Boston they would buy my plane ticket. Well, they were true to their word, and after a miserable winter of training I was on my way to Boston for the 100th running.

I stayed Saturday night with family in Newton. Quite a bit of family was there and my aunt cooked me an awesome pasta meal (I know it was great, but at this point I really can't remember what it was!. After dinner one of the dinner guests taught me how to pass-juggling balls that is. I was so excited about learing how to pass, I think I forgot about the marathon for a couple of hours, lol! I couldn't wait to go home and teach my new boyfriend (future husband) how to pass-

On Sunday I did the Boston tour, I saw the John Kelley statue, picked up my race stuff, the rest of that day is pretty much gone from memory at this point. That night I slept at the Boston apartment of a friend of my father's. He was sweet enough to leave me a book of the History of the Boston Marathon-

Race day I ate cereal and a banana and headed outside to catch the very early bus to Hopkinton. Boy, that was surreal. Sitting on a bus packed with nervous runners from all over the world. Once in Hopkinton we were divided into smaller camps based on our qualifying times. I had brought my juggling balls so I did a little juggling to calm my nerves and talked with my fellow runners. Someone from RunOhio interviewed me, but I never found that interview afterward.

After several restroom breaks later we finally lined up. The gun went off, but I was so far in the back that it took over 10 minutes for me to cross the starting line. This was the first race where I wore a chip. They were brand new then!

I honestly do not remember much of the race. After the first few miles I had to run off the road and crouch behind a bush to pee. I had lots of company because the portajohns were full. That is the only time I have had to do that-
I remember that the hills were torture-not Heartbreak Hill, but the hills before it. I kept thinking "if these are bad, then Heartbreak is going to be a real b*tch!" But Heartbreak really wasn't that bad, and I took an orange slice from a little kid passing them out and it was delicious. The screaming through the tunnel at Wellesly was awesome. It was a long race, and I was tired, but it was so, so awesome. There were spectators almost every foot of the way-not like Columbus which had miles of no spectators at a time. I felt elated and euphoric. When I could finally see the Citgo sign I was estatic. I was almost done!!!

After the race it was a whirlwind. My plane back to Columbus was leaving quite soon after the race and I had to hurry and find my bag (not an easy feat considering there were trailers full of bags!), find my parents, and rush to the airport. I remember running like crazy through the airport, my medal around my neck, still sweaty and in my race clothes, trying to catch that plane! We made it.

This is the first time I have written about that day. I cannot believe it has taken me 12 years to do this! I think I am a little more reflective this time because this is the first year in a long time that I really think I could make the committment to train for another marathon. Some days I think I am crazy, and some days I really long to try. Either way, I keep my marathon experiences in my heart, they are precious to me and I know that after watching the Boston Marathon coverage on the news tomorrow night I will have tears in my eyes.

Dearest Marjorie 1915-2008

2008-04-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

I learned yesterday that my dear Grandmother, Marjorie, had passed on. I was saddened, but also joyous, because she wanted to leave this world and was trapped in a broken body that she no longer felt connected to. Grandma S. was my last Grandparent alive, and also the oldest at 93. She was very special to me, and she influenced me in ways that I hope I was able to communicate with her while she was alive.
Grandma S. was a math and home economics teacher. She met my Grandfather while he was in the army and married him right before he left to fight in WWII. That first time he was gone for 2 years. During the war he came home in stints, but was never home for long, and thoughout his time during the war he earned several purple hearts and other medals of recognition which he, and my Grandmother were very proud of. They had 3 children, the middle child was my dad.
Grandma was the best cook ever!!! Every dinner at her house was something everyone looked forward to. She was an excellent seamstress, and would often make clothes for me and matching doll clothes for my dolls. She devoted herself to her family in every way, and she was a strong woman. She showed us love, but also had a firm hand, and she was not a cryer (unlike my Grandma M. who cried over every little sentiment!). I think that she learned how to be stoic from the years she had to spend alone while Grandpa was fighting overseas. I admired her committment to her family and her unending kindness to others. She has a special place in my heart, always.
I love you Grandma!

One of those weeks...

2008-04-12T05:43:00.001-07:00

It's been one of those weeks. One of those weeks where running has seemed more like a chore than a respite. This morning I dragged myself through my run, exhausted. I just feel so worn out. B has been working a lot of OT, I have been trying to transition into running in the early morning again, my feet are killing me, M has been up nights, the kids and I are busy, busy, busy, my brother was in town, my Grandmother's time is almost up. Like I said....one of those weeks.

On a bright note, look what we put in the incubator today!

My baby turns 2

2008-03-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

From baby to toddler-when did this happen?

Done at last!

2008-03-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

I started this quilt for C last spring, and I finally finished it this week. For some reason I just couldn't get motivated to finish this thing once I started, and it sat on my sewing table for months. Finally I forced myself to just get it done, and once I started up again it went pretty quickly.

I copied the diamond pattern from a kids quilt I saw in a kids furnishings catalog (I think Land of Nod), it is machine pieced and quilted. The quilting is in the ditch, so there is a pretty diamond pattern on the back.

This is the first quilt I have signed. I free motioned "To Clara, Love Mom 2008" on two of the diamonds near the bottom of one of the quilt corners. Hopefully this one will stand the test of time and lots of washings!

Just like the rest of them!

2008-03-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

I changed my name this week.
No, not my first name-my last name. You know, the one that most people change right after they get married? Well, when I was 23 I definitely was NEVER going to take my husband's last name. That would violate everything I held dear! Keeping my name would stand as a statement of my unwillingness to bend to the status quo. I was young and independent and had my whole adult life ahead of me. Why should marriage change anything? What woman in her right mind would allow those archaic rules of marriage to influence her enough to lose the name she was born with-and lose it to a man?

Now that I am 33 I have a little more perspective. Having a different name from my children was a pain in the a$$. I had to explain it to every new person my husband and I were introduced to. Every time I made an appointment for one of my kids I had to have the receptionist check records for both last names because I could never remember which name I had used. My kids' friends didn't know whether to call me Ms. S or Ms. J. It's wasn't a huge pain in the a$$, but enough of one that a few years ago I started to re-evaluate the reasons I kept my name in the first place.

I have come to realize that these reasons have become null and void with maturity. My feminist sensabilities are more concerned now with real-life issues that women and mothers face. In my opinion keeping my name seemed rather selfish and self-centered- a rally against something that will never change. A woman taking a man's name at marriage is a tradition that is so entrenched in our society, and honestly, what's the big deal? Is anyone hurt by this? Does this put women at any kind of professional or personal disadvantage? I don't think so. I would rather put my energies towards supporting issues that directly affect women.

Plus, after 10 years of marriage I have become a bit of a softie, and I thought it would be nice to share my husband's last name :) So after digging around for my marriage certificate I drove up to the Social Security office and did the deed. I didn't feel any different, but when I got home my daughter presented me with an elaborately decorated sign with my new name on it. "Now you are just like the rest of us", she said.

Ten years ago...

2008-03-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

I was in college. I had been married for six months. I ran my last marathon.

I can't believe it has been ten years. When I was growing up I always had running a marathon as one of my life goals. I ran my first one when I was 21, in 1995. I ran another in 1996. Then I skipped a year and ran the last one in 1998. I have been mulling around the idea of jumping back into the marathon game, and I think partly it's because I don't want to wait longer than 10 years. I mean, a decade! Granted, I have been busy. Running has not been a focus, more like a coping mechanism. I don't know if I am up for the mental challenges of training right now, and the time sacrifice-especially the weekend time sacrifice. Ugh, and I will be tired.

What would my goal be this time? Well, obviously it won't be to beat my best time (or any of my past marathon times for that matter), I accepted this past year that I will never be as fast as I once was and I need to set REALISTIC goals. But I need to have some kind of goal to keep me motivated and get me through all that training. I don't know if just proving to myself that I can run a marathon after 10 years off is enough to keep me going. I don't want to poop out in the middle of August because I'm tired of sticking to a stringent running schedule. I am also scared that if I am not really careful I could seriously hurt my feet.

Is it worth it? I guess at this point in March I have the luxury of just thinking about it and not making any commitments. I get excited, but I need to keep that in check by reminding myself that if I let this year go by there will always be another October marathon.

However, it is seems very significant to me that 2008 should be the year-I just can't let that thought go! I can see the back of my race t-shirt-

1995
Columbus

1996
Boston

1998
Columbus

3 kids

2008
Columbus

Happy Birth Day Baby!

2008-03-13T05:14:00.000-07:00

I hate to say my sewing machine sat idle for much of the winter. In Jaunuary I did a major de-clutter and cleaned out and re-organized my sewing area. Since then I have mainly been working on UFO's (aka quilt drudgery), trying to get those out of the way so I can start on some new, fun things. I got to take a break from those this week as I have some baby gifts to make! A friend of mine had a delicious baby girl, she is the most adorable little thing. Pictured above is her gift, the ever-popular and over-used by me, New Conceptions Baby Pattern.

Dashing through the snow...

2008-03-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

What could be more appropriate the day after a blizzard than taking a ride in an open sleigh?

We have the best neighbors in the world. They are kind, generous, interesting, and they have kids close to the same age as ours. They also shoveled our drive with their Bobcat today and took the kids for a ride in the sleigh. The kids played for hours together building snow tunnels and trenches for snow battles-they have red, windburned cheeks and my son ate all his dinner tonight-a sure sign of the energy expelled today.

I hope my kids remember days like this when they are older and they treasure them. I do.

BLIZZARD!

2008-03-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

We had an official blizzard this past weekend. We are left with a foot and a half of snow and because we have nothing but empty fields surrounding us.....major drifts. This drift the kids are sitting on in front of our pole barn is almost 5 ft high!

We were snowed in for 2 days and it was lovely. We didn't have to go anywhere or do anything, and hanging out as a family for that time was just what we needed.

It's March though, and the cold has gotten to me. I am DONE with winter.

food + run = nothing left over!

2008-03-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

I am 33. I am a runner. I am also an eater. I am a big eater. I love to eat, drink and be merry! However, my waistline has been rebelling against me lately, reminding me that I am not 20, and I can no longer eat a whole pizza or an entire box of Girl Scout Cookies in one sitting.

I tell you, after years of throwing caution to the wind I find it very hard to regulate my eating. When I am hungry, I eat. When I am bored, I eat. I love sitting down with a magazine and a snack, and if I actually chance to turn on the TV I like to eat then too.

Luckily I have a friend who speaks my language. I met MM in college. She is one of the best juggers I know, she is physically fit, and she loves to eat! We like to get together for lunch at one of those Chinese Buffet places, and it really is nice to talk with someone who enjoys her food as much as I do. Last time we got together we were contemplating the whole getting older, slowing metabolism issue. She told me that studies have found that long distance runners actually burn much less calories than originally thought. Boy, that stinks. I was hoping that as I got older I woudn't have to eat less, just run more, and that would take care of things! Somehow I don't think that is going to be the case.

For now, I need to up my measly 12 miles a week that I am barely managing to get in, or cut out some of the quantites of food that I enjoy. Also "teaching" the kids cooking skills by making deserts with them almost every night might not be the best choice :)

$tarBUCKS

2008-03-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

"Mom, you don't want to go here! This place is too expensive-it's the expensive coffee place......star BUCKS!"

Embarassed as I am to admit I spent $3 on a cup of coffee, I had to laugh at my 7 yo's concern over my spending habits-if only he knew how much of an investment that $3 actually was.

That cup of coffee distracted me from squabbling children, cranky from hours of long-distance errands. It occupied my mouth so I couldn't turn around and scream at offending child, prevented me from saying something I was sure to regret, and gave my brain a stimulant-jolt so I could deny the fact that I was completely exhausted.
It also eased my hunger pangs, preventing me from stopping at a random fast-food joint and spending a fortune on providing sub-standard food for my 3 children and myself.

So really that $3 was an investment for my family! I did it for you, F, C and M.- just don't tell your father!

END, winter-PLEASE!

2008-02-29T13:31:00.001-08:00

Blech! I am so sick of dark, wet, cold days. Running for 10 minutes just to warm up, and then running home in a biting wind because the wind changed direction. Having to run in the evening when I am tired, supper needs to be cooked, and the baby is cranky. Coming home to a hungry, needy family and having to be Mom when all I want is 15 minutes to stretch and then a nice, hot bath.
I am in a funk. I was asked to run in a race with some church folks and I was sincerely flattered. I usually keep my running to myself, but last fall I ran in a race where there happened to be some folks from my church entered as well. So I guess my secret is out-
As flattered as I was to be asked, I declined. It was a trail run and it cost $25. I don't mind spending the $ when it is a race I really want to run, but a muddy race in cold, early March won't get $25 from me! Hopefully I will be asked again-
I am a race snob. I want my money's worth and I want a good time (race time). I don't run races for fun, I run them to be competitive with myself. I am really trying to whittle down my race times, and I think this summer will be the year I can get myself back into a sub 22 minute 5k. It may take all summer, but it is my official goal. I"ll take what I can get with the 10k and up. Last year was the "I just spent a year and a half pregnant and having a new baby, it's time to get back into it" year.
I'm looking to run a race a month from May through October. I better save my pennies!

Rooster Soup

2008-02-12T13:23:00.001-08:00

Several weeks ago we butchered one of our roosters. We procrastinated and procrastinated until finally the dynamics in the chicken coop was so unpleasant that we could no longer avoid the inevitable.
I was nervous. A friend of mine, M, volunteered to come over and help out. As soon as B got home from work he went to look for the hatchet while M and I discussed the game plan.
No hatchet was found. B thought a random big knife would do the trick, and as the sun was setting and time was running out, we agreed.
M and B cornered Mr. Rooster in the yard and M brought him over to the picnic table where I held his neck and body down.
Mr. Rooster was calm and accepting of his fate.
I said a brief prayer and turned my head as the knife made the first chop. Chop, chop, chop-"God, please let it be over!"
Finally it was done. Mr. Rooster was gone, though his body continued to twitch. It was so freaky-I asked M what we should do next, and she said "Run for the hills!" We ran across the yard, kind of in disbelief at the scene on the table.
A couple of deep breaths and I had regained my composure. I strung him up on the monkey bars to bleed out, and soon he was ready for the pot.
I dunked him in the boiling water, and then the ice water. I laid him on the kitchen floor and F helped me to pull off the feathers. It took FOREVER.
Finally, he was ready to be gutted. I took my poultry shears and cut him from top to bottom, opening him up like a mortician.
His organs were perfect. I was in awe at God's work. Everything was in its place, completely, perfectly formed. F and I took out the heart, examined the chambers and the veins. The lungs were spongy and soft, the intestines still had digested food inside.
Finally, I cut the the wings, neck and legs off and put them in the soup pot with the rest of the body.
Mr. Rooster made a delicious stock, a nourishing soup for my family and M. He provided us with a life lesson in the miracle of life and the order of the food chain. A hat tip to you, Mr. Rooster.

So much more than just exercise

2008-02-06T20:01:00.000-08:00

I was talking with another woman today about exercising. She asked me how the running was going, and I expressed regret that I am not able to get out and run as much as I would like in the winter. She began to tell me about her treadmill and her membership to the Y. Thank goodness she didn't mention home exercise videos, or I don't know how I would have reacted. You see, I don't really run for the exercise. It does keep me in shape and helps burn off those unwanted calories, but if I was only doing if for the exercise I don't think I would have been able to keep it up for twenty years.
I do it for different reasons, reasons which have changed as I have grown and aged.

When I was a teenager I ran to be competitive. I wanted to be the best-the fastest and the strongest. Many times I was. But I was also a self-conscious runner. I didn't always run for myself or do what my body told me. I ran for my coach, my team, my parents. I felt at times that running was stifling me.

When I was in my twenties I wanted to push myself to the limit. I wanted to test my boundaries and see how far I could go. I became a solitary runner, competitive only with myself. I fell in love with running for the first time, and we had a nice co-dependent relationship.

After I had children I had to fall in love again each time I hit the road after having a baby. Three times I went through that cycle. Each time was easier than the last.

Now, in my thirties and a seasoned runner, I run for the freedom. I cannot imagine running on a treadmill inside my home or a gym. When I run I get away from diapers and dinner and the next load of laundry. I feel the same way I always feel out on the road. Ageless, weightless, exhilirated.

The same feeling I felt when I was ten and I galloped around the backyard pretending I was a horse.
The same feeling as when I was 16 and I ran around the neighborhood in the falling snow.
The same feeling as last summer when I watched the sun rise over the corn fields on my way home in the early morning.

A treadmill can't come close to that.

A little family vacation

2008-01-24T05:23:00.000-08:00

A little vacation never hurt anyone. Unless you are a parent of young children and you go to a waterpark and get dragged around to every waterslide until you collapse with exhaustion. We attended a homeschool gathering, okay technically it was for unschoolers, but who's being technical? It was at a huge indoor waterpark which we are lucky enough to live within driving distance of. I admit, it felt wonderful to splash in the warm water, knowing that it was 20 degrees outside. And it was really cool to be surrounded by other home educators and their families. But we have an older one who wants to do everything and a very young one who can't do anything, so for most of the time our family is split. I spent quite a bit of time on the lounge chair with M while he nursed or napped, chatting with the knitting woman beside me who was lucky enough to have children that were old enough to go off without supervision. Still, it was lovely to get away for a couple of days. I'm always a fan of that-

Dearest Gigi 1921-2008

2008-01-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Grandma,

I miss you already. I miss your laugh, your soft brown eyes, and your wrinkled hands. I miss your generous spirit, your sharp wit, and your honesty. I hate the fact that I will miss your funeral.

Remeber the time when I came to visit you in South Carolina, and you took me to see South Pacific? I remember so many things about your home there. The birds on the sofa and the birds on the sheets. The mallard duck decoys that Grandpa liked. The ping-pong table in the basement, and how I was so ashamed when I broke one of your paddles because I was angry at my sister and I hit it too hard on the table. The walks we would take around the marina, and the days spent swimming at the pool. I remember going to the video store and renting movies to watch on a rainy day and eating Jello Pudding Pops on the deck. You always had butterschotch discs in the kitchen and I remember how your favorite candy was butterum Lifesavers.

You always cried at the drop of a hat, and my cousins and I would laugh at your loud belches you were so well known for. You would tell us to look away as you drank the milk out of your cereal bowl, and you would do cartwheels for me on the lawn.

Remember your 6oth birthday party? Remember your 65th birthday party? I don't think some people ever recovered from those! I remember watching video from your 65th birthday party the next day at your home and my aunts and uncles kept rewinding the part where you got the balloon ornament over and over again. How we all laughed at your sentimentality and tears-and then at your surprise when you opened your card for a balloon ride! I hated to sing in public, but I did it for you Grandma. I think your 65th party was the last time I remember enjoying singing for an audience, and it was for you!

When I grew into an adult you were there for me, even though we saw each other so infrequently. As you grew older you remained the same to me, and you became a special person in my children's life. F and C still want to hear about Herbert the Lion, and I'm glad that F is old enough to keep some memories of you as he grows.

My most recent memories of being with you are this past Christmas. We played games, we ate, we opened gifts, and yes, you drank too much! How strange it will be to not have your liquor in Mom's kitchen cabinet, your coffee in the freezer, your "room" will be empty. I will miss drinking tea with you and just talking with you, Grandma.

I love you Grandma.

2008-01-11T17:33:00.000-08:00

Guess what we got today?

Our first brown egg! I am almost sure this came from Comet, our sex-link hen. She was strutting around crowing loudly, and she has been showing signs that she is ready to lay for awhile. C found the egg, and surprised us with it this morning. We've gotten used to having blue and green eggs, the brown one is a nice change.

2008-01-06T15:30:00.000-08:00

Oh glorious day! It was in the 50's-in January! Unbelievable. Tomorrow may hit 60. I'll actually have to run in shorts and expose my lily white legs.

I took down the Christmas tree today, and packed up the last of the decorations. Even with the mild weather I couldn't help but listen to my Christmas music mix on my ipod one last time. The Christmas season goes by way too fast for me. Winter nights are dark, and without the lights from our tree our house is dark. Dark and sad and depressing. I couldn't bear to pack away all the cheer, so I took my little miniature tree up to my room, and I may leave it up awhile. It helps. I never thought I was a Christmas in July type, but maybe I'm changing...

Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's

2007-12-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

This is a letter I wrote and read to my 91 year old grandmother this year.

Christmas at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s

My best memories of Christmas at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s come from when I was about 8, 9, 10 years old.
The day after Christmas we would pile into the Bronco and make the drive up north to Cleveland. As a child it took forever to get there! But it was worth the wait, because as soon as we pulled into Grandma’s and Grandpa’s driveway the familiar feelings and memories from the years before would come back, and I always knew what to expect.

Grandma and Grandpa were at the door to give us big hugs and say “Merry Christmas”.
There in the foyer was the Santa and Mrs. Claus with her apron full of candy canes. Into the rooms I would go, checking to see if everything was as I remembered it. Yes, there was the dollhouse with the teeny furniture, and the bear with the Bowling Green sweater. In the living room the cast iron cat sat by the fireplace just as always, and in the hallway cabinets were the photo albums I loved to look through.
In the family room was Grandpa’s leather recliner, which was supremely comfortable, though we didn’t get to sit in it much because Grandpa was usually in it. There was also the creaky 3-legged chair that I always had to sit in at least once, and the stack of newspapers and Reader’s Digest.

Grandma always had the table set and ready for dinner, and the children’s table was also set, usually with a foil wrapped chocolate or other treat on the plates.
The tree was gigantic to me, and the gifts that had already been opened were lying in their boxes, so I could always look and see what gifts Grandma and Grandpa had given each other. There was always the Higbees box which mystified me, as we didn’t have that store in Springfield. It must have been a wonderful store since there seemed to be a Higbees box every year.

When we were all settled in it was time for dinner. The dinner was always delicious, and Grandpa would proclaim his pleasure over our clean plates and pronounce us great eaters. The dinner highlight for me was always the cookie plate. The cookie plate had every kind of delicious cookie I loved. And it was so pretty, I liked just looking at the cookies and how the buckeyes sat so nicely next to the sugar cookies, Hershey Kiss cookies, and lemon bars. I always tried as many cookies as I could, and I was allowed to have as many as I wanted.

When it was time to open the gifts I could always expect a special gift from Grandma. I remember when she made me matching dresses for me and my doll, and sometimes I would get a Jo-Jo. Then Megan and I would have to talk about our sock monkey dolls, and I would wonder why Megan’s dolls were called Co-Co, when Jo-Jo was obviously the more fitting name.

Christmas at Grandms’s and Grandpa’s was always one of the best parts of the holiday for me. Playing with my cousins, drinking tea out of one of Grandma’s special tea cups, and getting a dollar from Grandpa were all things that made the times at their house so special to me. I am so glad that I was able to have those times as a child. During the Christmas season I am reminded of so many of these things. Each time I pass a cookie plate I can’t help but compare it to Grandma’s, and it is NEVER as good as Grandma’s!

Merry Christmas Grandma!
Love, Amy

Eddie Bauer at 30, thrift store at 40

2007-11-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

Last week I turned 33. I skipped on over to the city where I eagerly set out to spend my birthday money (yes, I still get birthday money!). I walked into Eddie Bauer and tried on piles of clothes. The irony of it was not lost on me. Ten years ago I used to laugh at my new husband for shopping at Eddie Bauer. Those clothes are so plain! They're so conservative and boring! I would never shop there, and if I did, it would only be because I had turned into one of those stereotypical moms who loses herself in her children and no longer cares about things like fashion or individuality. The only reason I figured my husband shopped there was because he was already an old man at the ripe age of 30. Well folks, I am now an Eddie Bauer shopper. In fact, I love Eddie Bauer. I strive to wear Eddie Bauer now, as it is a luxury when I get a chance to shop there. The corduroy cargo pants and the chunky sweaters are right up my alley, as is the nice loungewear. Who wants to wear sweats when you can have french terry matching tops and bottoms with floral silkscreen?
I bought two pairs of pants, a sweater, an outerwear vest, a T, a pullover, and a zip sweater. I am also $200 lighter.
When I got home and told B what I spent my birthday money on he almost fell over. Yes, he used to shop Eddie Bauer and now he shops at the thrift. There must be a difference between 30 and 40.

2007-09-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Apparantly I am not good enough to work in a warehouse.
I applied for a part-time seasonal warehouse position a couple of weeks ago. I followed up with a phone call a couple of days ago to see when a good time would be to come in for an interview. I was told that they weren't hiring seasonal work until the end of the month. Yesterday I got a very nice letter in the mail from the company, explaining that while they appreciated my interest, they did not have a position for me at the time. Geez, I didn't realize that working in a warehouse was such a specialized position. I must not posess the correct warehouse-working skills. I am sure that packing boxes and scanning bar codes is a very specialized skill that can only properly executed by a select few. I probably should have beefed up my application a little, highlighted the fact that I used to load trailers for UPS-never mind that it was almost 15 years ago-

In other news:
My oldest finally lost his first tooth. Surprisingly he didn't have much interest in keeping the tooth (I assumed all kids wanted to keep their lost teeth), he was all too happy to trade it in for a dollar from the tooth fairy.

2007-09-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

I got to run somewhere else today-yippee!! The family headed to a park that has a lovely paved, hilly path which meanders into woods, next to a lake, and right by the playground. What a nice change from the flat asphalt country roads I am used to running. No stinky hog barns, no roadkill, and best of all- daylight! It's the time of year when I head out for my morning runs in the dark and return in the dawn. It was invigorating to feel the sun on my shoulders again. After my run I met a Mom at the playground who is also a runner. We chatted a bit and it was refreshing to talk to another runner about 20 mile runs and races and all the other normal things runners talk about but non-runners have no interest in.
On the way home I began to reminisce about my college running days and the only time in my life (outside of HS track and CC )I ever had a running buddy. I met R in college choir. We were both runners and we had our own running routines, but we began to meet for long runs. I had always been a solitary runner, but it was a nice change to have someone to talk with as the miles passed. We decided to train for the Columbus Marathon together. We spent so much time talking about our training and our goals, our diets and our miles. That first marathon wouldn't have been half as much fun without R to share it with. I don't remember when we stopped running together. I had qualified for the Boston Marathon and she hadn't, so I continued to train through the winter and she took a little time off from the long runs. And then, like most college friendships, we went our seperate ways. I wonder if R is still running today. I bet she is. She was a runner at heart, just like me.

Happy Birthday Brownie

2007-09-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our cat's birthday. It was a very special one because it was his FIRST birthday-at least that is what C says. C also daily celebrates the birthday of at least one of her dolls or stuffed animals-birthdays are a very big deal to C. So that is why she spent a good portion of the night before making Brownie a very special cake. What cat would not love a cheese and lamb cake, frosted with milk and butter icing and sprinkled with cat food? DELICIOUS!

My kitchen stinks

2007-08-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

A month ago we bought 8 baby chicks. They were so cute and fuzzy. We let them run around the kitchen floor and fed them until they learned to respond to our voices and follow us for food. Well, these baby chicks are now almost 5 weeks old. They are no longer fuzzy. They are 4 times the size they were when we bought them and they stink. They are also still sleeping in my kitchen.

My kitchen smells like a barn. It's dusty. It's noisy. And my daughter always forgets to wipe up the chicken poo from the floor after she takes Tiny out of the brooder to play with her and kiss her goodnight.

Next week they are going out in the coop, and as much as I worry about a raccoon sticking it's hand between the chiken wire and grabbing at them-I will have my kitchen back! I cannot wait. I have threatened B. with all sorts of violent acts if he does not put the finishing touches on that coop this weekend.

Why can't I make brownies?

2007-08-30T04:09:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Another batch of brownies down the drain. I can never make good brownies, but this time was going to be different. I bought the expensive Ghiradelli box mix, thinking that there was no way I could mess up a box mix-especially Ghiradelli. Well, they looked good in the oven-they were rising nice and fluffy, even in the center where usually my brownies end up flat. Well, once I took them out of the oven my hopes for delicious brownies were dashed. The middle part ended up flat and dense and chewy, and the edges were hard and overdone. Just like always!!! What am I doing wrong? I like nice light and cakey brownies, not sticky dense ones. Shouldn't brownies rise like a cake? Every time I eat someone else's brownies they are perfect, wonderfully cakey and not chewy at all. I am at a loss. I have tried several box mixes and made from scratch at home and I have never been able to get the results I am looking for.

ETA: I searched for 15 minutes for a clean sports bra. In the dryer, the pile of folded clothes, my dresser drawers in the dark. Not a clean one anywhere to be found. So I didn't take my run and I am now feeling very pissy because of it. I MUST buy a new sports bra THIS WEEKEND. It is unaccaptable to me to not have one when I need it.

May the Force be with you!

2007-08-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

I have a Jedi living at my house. Because of said Jedi, I have learned many Jedi things that I was previously ignorant about, such as:

1) Jedi's don't eat real food like steak or chicken. Jedi's only digest food that is already in liquid form, preferably milkshakes and smoothies, though yogurt will do in a pinch.

2) Any piece of brown or black fabric will do as a cloak, as long as it is stapled under the chin to make a hood. This includes random pieces of fabric, tablecloths, clothing and towels.

3) A karate gi makes a perfectly acceptable Jedi uniform. Even a filthy one that has been worn and slept in for several days in a row. Jedi's are way too busy fighting the dark side to do their laundry.

4) When beheading your baby brother, two lightsabers are much better than one, and slashing across the throat is much too amatuerish. You must use both lightsabers simualtaneously in a slashing motion across one another-it's much more realistic.

5) Listening to the force is much more important than listening to your mother. Especially when it is time to take a bath or come to dinner.

2007-08-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

So my feet are aching again.

This is both good and bad. On one hand, having a lagging injury that pops up now and then makes me really appreciate the days I am lucky enough to have glorious pain-free runs.
On the other hand, I am frustrated with an injury that I sustained 9 years ago, and will probably battle with my entire life. Damn my impatient young adult self! Time after time I flew out the door heading out to my run without stretching-ran way too many miles-failed to stretch my feet properly-and the result? I find myself wincing as I run and fruitlessly trying to stretch out a pain that seems to have found permanet residence in my feet.

I am googling stretching exercises and foot braces and dreading my next run. I have been avoiding going to the foot store as I am afraid of being talked into buying something I can't afford (like the night splints that would probably actually be really helpful), but I think the time has come for me to get some inserts and do some serious stretching and rehabilitation.

B is going to freak about spending more money on my feet-he thinks my running shoes are a "luxury item"-so I need to present this the right way and lobby for my cause.