Since the job lay-off announcement I have been trying really hard to focus on the positive parts of my life, and now I have taken this one step further. I have decided that focusing on the postive is not enough. I am still allowing negative feelings and stressors to bother me and affect my overall well-being. I have truely decided that I need to focus really hard not just on the positive things in my life, but I need to act on them and purposefully bring joy into my life through my actions. I really need some extra joy-medicine right now!
Here are some of the positive things I have been grateful for this past week:
-a break in the bone chilling cold and some very nice runs
-longer days leading to many eggs in the nest boxes
-a good book
-my orthotics (always grateful for those)
-chicken soup
-a gift from a friend
-my warm bed filled with cuddly children
-finding my lost slipper
-sushi with friends
-flowers from B.
And in my desire to actively bring joy into my life:
-ordering hatching eggs. I'll have 24 eggs in the incubator this spring! And some gorgeous Welsummer and Buckeye chicks in my kitchen
-taking the time to really listen to B. I don't do that often enough and I miss a lot.
-rubbing C's back and getting a neck rub in return
-giving to others and getting a little bit of their joy back for myself.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Nothing new, no news...
So, we are still waiting over here for news on B's job situation. This week was supposed to be the week when we finally got some news, but no, the state of Ohio seems intent to prolong our suffering. Basically we are waiting to see if B has more seniority than the social studies teacher at another juvenile correctional facility. If he does than he can "bump" this teacher out of the position, and B will become the new teacher there. If he doesn't than he is out of luck and needs to find another job, fast!
B is maddeningly cool as a cucumber, saying things like, "everything will turn out the way it is supposed to", and "life is full of change and that is a good thing". Meanwhile I am biting my fingernails and pulling my hair out in worry. B is one of those people who seems to rise above normal human worries. Nothing ever bothers him, you can't say or do anything that will stress him out or upset him. Sometimes I wonder if he is really present in this world at all, as he seems to float right through things and events that cause me severe distress.
I am really, really trying to relax and think positively, and not get bogged down with worry or negative feelings. I think I am doing a pretty good job, but every few days it seems to creep up on me, and I am finding myself going to bed earlier and earlier just to avoid worrying in the evening when it is quiet. Also, I have had some lingering headaches that I really can't attribute to illness or anything else.
I am so anxious to just find out one way or the other whether or not he has a job! I need to be able to plan our future and just get moving. I do not like this uncertainty.
B is maddeningly cool as a cucumber, saying things like, "everything will turn out the way it is supposed to", and "life is full of change and that is a good thing". Meanwhile I am biting my fingernails and pulling my hair out in worry. B is one of those people who seems to rise above normal human worries. Nothing ever bothers him, you can't say or do anything that will stress him out or upset him. Sometimes I wonder if he is really present in this world at all, as he seems to float right through things and events that cause me severe distress.
I am really, really trying to relax and think positively, and not get bogged down with worry or negative feelings. I think I am doing a pretty good job, but every few days it seems to creep up on me, and I am finding myself going to bed earlier and earlier just to avoid worrying in the evening when it is quiet. Also, I have had some lingering headaches that I really can't attribute to illness or anything else.
I am so anxious to just find out one way or the other whether or not he has a job! I need to be able to plan our future and just get moving. I do not like this uncertainty.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Winter compost
Aaahhhhh.....winter thaw.
It is one of those days where I can close my eyes and imagine that it is March. Yesterday and today were in the high 40's, the snow is melting, there is the drip, drip, dripping of water rolling off of the roof and I can crack the windows and let the cool air blow out some of the winter stuffiness.
On days like this there is work to be done in the chicken coop. During the warm months it is a snap to keep the coop clean, I just shovel under the roosts every couple of weeks or so. In the winter I have to wait until we thaw out. It is impossible to shovel frozen manure, so in December and January the droppings under the roosts just keep accumulating and freezing over and over again. When we get a break in the weather it is a chance to get things shoveled out(especially when you know that you have visitors coming and they will want to see the chickens and the last thing you want to show them is a stinky, smelly coop).
I only shovel under the roosts where it is mostly pure manure with a little straw mixed in. The rest of the coop really stays amazingly clean. The chickens spend the majority of their time outside, and even when the snow is too deep for them to go out they still seem to make the majority of their messes on the roosts and not in the straw on the floor of the coop. I only completely clean out the coop twice a year, and really that is all it needs.
I got a wheelbarrow full today, and lugged it outside where it will sit until tomorrow or the day after when hopefully the snow will melt enough for me to be able to see my garden again. I will dump this mess in a nice pile in my garden. Manure piles make the best garden patches. I grew the most delicious, juicy pickling cucumbers in a nice manure patch last year. I don't have enough manure to cover my entire garden, but it does help. In the summer I dump the manure into my compost pile, but in the winter it goes directly into garden. It has time to break down before anything gets planted and the straw helps with weed control when my garden explodes with weeds in early spring.
Here's my winter compost pile.
No manure in there yet, mostly fruits and veggie scraps, but I throw in eggshells, coffe grounds and tea as well. In the summer manure goes in. I am a lazy, lazy composter. I rarely turn the pile and I don't think about ratios of green to brown or anything like that. I just throw in our scraps and then a couple times in the summer I'll stir it up and come fall the stuff on the bottom is ready to spread.
My chickens have been a money pit in many ways, but that is becuase I am not a farmer and egg production isn't my top priority. The beauty and diversity they give to our yard, the rich compost they provide our garden, the delicious eggs and nutritious meat that nourish my family, that is where the real value lies.
It is one of those days where I can close my eyes and imagine that it is March. Yesterday and today were in the high 40's, the snow is melting, there is the drip, drip, dripping of water rolling off of the roof and I can crack the windows and let the cool air blow out some of the winter stuffiness.
On days like this there is work to be done in the chicken coop. During the warm months it is a snap to keep the coop clean, I just shovel under the roosts every couple of weeks or so. In the winter I have to wait until we thaw out. It is impossible to shovel frozen manure, so in December and January the droppings under the roosts just keep accumulating and freezing over and over again. When we get a break in the weather it is a chance to get things shoveled out(especially when you know that you have visitors coming and they will want to see the chickens and the last thing you want to show them is a stinky, smelly coop).
I only shovel under the roosts where it is mostly pure manure with a little straw mixed in. The rest of the coop really stays amazingly clean. The chickens spend the majority of their time outside, and even when the snow is too deep for them to go out they still seem to make the majority of their messes on the roosts and not in the straw on the floor of the coop. I only completely clean out the coop twice a year, and really that is all it needs.
I got a wheelbarrow full today, and lugged it outside where it will sit until tomorrow or the day after when hopefully the snow will melt enough for me to be able to see my garden again. I will dump this mess in a nice pile in my garden. Manure piles make the best garden patches. I grew the most delicious, juicy pickling cucumbers in a nice manure patch last year. I don't have enough manure to cover my entire garden, but it does help. In the summer I dump the manure into my compost pile, but in the winter it goes directly into garden. It has time to break down before anything gets planted and the straw helps with weed control when my garden explodes with weeds in early spring.
Here's my winter compost pile.
No manure in there yet, mostly fruits and veggie scraps, but I throw in eggshells, coffe grounds and tea as well. In the summer manure goes in. I am a lazy, lazy composter. I rarely turn the pile and I don't think about ratios of green to brown or anything like that. I just throw in our scraps and then a couple times in the summer I'll stir it up and come fall the stuff on the bottom is ready to spread.
My chickens have been a money pit in many ways, but that is becuase I am not a farmer and egg production isn't my top priority. The beauty and diversity they give to our yard, the rich compost they provide our garden, the delicious eggs and nutritious meat that nourish my family, that is where the real value lies.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Icy roads and screwy shoes
I've already written quite a few posts on how challenging January has been for my running, but I am feeling a little more positive about February. I frequent a small online running forum and one of the women there gave me a big tip (thank you Jo!!!) that has me smiling. She has been doing some of her winter running in shoes that she has drilled screws into to prevent slipping on the ice, and shared the instructional link with me. I know you all can't wait to open this link:
http://www.skyrunner.com/screwshoe.htm
I wasn't sure how much screws in my shoes would help me out, but I had B. dig around in the basement for some appropriate screws and he found enough so I could at least test out the concept on my older running shoes.
I was excited to test them out. As soon as I started down the road I felt a few "bumps" under the balls of my feet so I turned around and went home to see what was up. After taking my shoes off and my orthotics out I discovered that the middle two screws on each shoe were poking through sole on the inside. I took them out and added them to the sides of the bottom front of the shoe, and I will have to get some shorter ones for the middle.
My shoes aren't perfectly screwed, but let me tell you, my first run in them was fantastic! A lot of it was mental. I told myself that I was was NOT going to look down at the ice under my feet, I was going to look ahead and focus on keeping as normal of a stride as possible. Usually I am hopping around trying to figure out which patch of ice looks the least slippery and I am slow and my stride is choppy. This time I put my faith in those shoes, told myself that I was NOT going to slip, and whattdya know, I didn't. It wasn't as if I was running on a clear, dry road, but I could almost fool myself that there wasn't ice under my feet.
The downside is that on the bare pavement you can hear me coming a mile away. "Clack, clack, clack, clack", on my road (which is usually pretty clear because it is a county road and actually gets a few cars and a snowplow once in awhile). My neighbor down the road must have heard me coming and yelled at me to put a scarf over my mouth! It was 15 degrees and she probably hadn't noticed me before but now I sound like some kind of oncoming army so I guess the jig is up.
No problem keeping my secret on the rest of my route. The roads look like this:
Fun, huh?
I'm hoping we thaw out in February.
http://www.skyrunner.com/screwshoe.htm
I wasn't sure how much screws in my shoes would help me out, but I had B. dig around in the basement for some appropriate screws and he found enough so I could at least test out the concept on my older running shoes.
I was excited to test them out. As soon as I started down the road I felt a few "bumps" under the balls of my feet so I turned around and went home to see what was up. After taking my shoes off and my orthotics out I discovered that the middle two screws on each shoe were poking through sole on the inside. I took them out and added them to the sides of the bottom front of the shoe, and I will have to get some shorter ones for the middle.
My shoes aren't perfectly screwed, but let me tell you, my first run in them was fantastic! A lot of it was mental. I told myself that I was was NOT going to look down at the ice under my feet, I was going to look ahead and focus on keeping as normal of a stride as possible. Usually I am hopping around trying to figure out which patch of ice looks the least slippery and I am slow and my stride is choppy. This time I put my faith in those shoes, told myself that I was NOT going to slip, and whattdya know, I didn't. It wasn't as if I was running on a clear, dry road, but I could almost fool myself that there wasn't ice under my feet.
The downside is that on the bare pavement you can hear me coming a mile away. "Clack, clack, clack, clack", on my road (which is usually pretty clear because it is a county road and actually gets a few cars and a snowplow once in awhile). My neighbor down the road must have heard me coming and yelled at me to put a scarf over my mouth! It was 15 degrees and she probably hadn't noticed me before but now I sound like some kind of oncoming army so I guess the jig is up.
No problem keeping my secret on the rest of my route. The roads look like this:
Fun, huh?
I'm hoping we thaw out in February.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Another January day, another snowfall
Here we are again, another frigid day, another snowfall. I don't HATE winter, but I do get tired of it, and this winter has been tough on me. I cannot remember a January that has been this cold and this snowy since I have had children, and it is definitely worse since we moved further north.
Last night B. parked the car as far down the driveway and as close to the street as possible so that he wouldn't have to spend hours shoveling out before work. Still, this morning when I peeked out the window at 6:30 he was shoveling, so I knew we must have had another big snow during the night.
It fell all morning. I went out to feed the chickens and open the coop and it was about 8" high on my walk to the barn. That's 2/3 of the way up my boots. At 1pm I went out again to gather eggs and the snow was over the top of my boots, and the drifts were much higher. At least the snow had finished falling.
I went into the barn and saw this:
In a matter of a few hours snow had blown in the door of the coop, and divided my chickens in half. Some of them were on the left third of the coop by the food, and the rest were on the right (the part you can't see in the photo) side up on their roosts. They didn't seem to happy about having to cross that snow line!
Sometimes a little snow will blow in the coop, but the door is over a foot off of the ground so the snow has to be at least a foot high to blow in.
So I shoveled all of it out and lay new straw, and then I shut the door so those poor chickens will not see the sun today. Though they would never go out in this deep snow anyway!
In a couple of hours I will head out to shovel the end of the driveway so B. can pull the car in when he gets home.
And no, I don't think I will be running tonight!
Last night B. parked the car as far down the driveway and as close to the street as possible so that he wouldn't have to spend hours shoveling out before work. Still, this morning when I peeked out the window at 6:30 he was shoveling, so I knew we must have had another big snow during the night.
It fell all morning. I went out to feed the chickens and open the coop and it was about 8" high on my walk to the barn. That's 2/3 of the way up my boots. At 1pm I went out again to gather eggs and the snow was over the top of my boots, and the drifts were much higher. At least the snow had finished falling.
I went into the barn and saw this:
In a matter of a few hours snow had blown in the door of the coop, and divided my chickens in half. Some of them were on the left third of the coop by the food, and the rest were on the right (the part you can't see in the photo) side up on their roosts. They didn't seem to happy about having to cross that snow line!
Sometimes a little snow will blow in the coop, but the door is over a foot off of the ground so the snow has to be at least a foot high to blow in.
So I shoveled all of it out and lay new straw, and then I shut the door so those poor chickens will not see the sun today. Though they would never go out in this deep snow anyway!
In a couple of hours I will head out to shovel the end of the driveway so B. can pull the car in when he gets home.
And no, I don't think I will be running tonight!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Yesterday my son called me into his room to look at yet another Lego creation. Usually he wants me to ooh and aah over some kind of supernatural robot or a building filled with booby traps. This time was a little different though. He said,
"Look Mom, my minifigures are having sex!"
I didn't know whether to laugh or be kind of creeped out. I mean, I thought positioning dolls in sexual positions was just something girls did with their barbies.
I never thought my son would even think to do this with his Legos.
I guess it makes sense.
He thinks of his minifigures as little real people, and he has been rather curious about sex lately.
But still, ugh.
To his credit he chose the tribal minifigs from the Indiana Jones set, the ones that have very little clothing. Their gender was a bit ambiguous. But I guess that discussion will come later.
"Look Mom, my minifigures are having sex!"
I didn't know whether to laugh or be kind of creeped out. I mean, I thought positioning dolls in sexual positions was just something girls did with their barbies.
I never thought my son would even think to do this with his Legos.
I guess it makes sense.
He thinks of his minifigures as little real people, and he has been rather curious about sex lately.
But still, ugh.
To his credit he chose the tribal minifigs from the Indiana Jones set, the ones that have very little clothing. Their gender was a bit ambiguous. But I guess that discussion will come later.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Winter running hits its low point
So my January running has been a little less than ideal. My goal for the winter running was to clear 15 miles a week, but, uh, that has not been happening. December was close, but I am embarassed to admit how little running I have done so far this month. Let's just say that I am way, way under par.
It doesn't help that this month has been absolutely frigid, so my motivation to go out has been very low. Today it was 15 degrees when I went out for my 4 miles, but with the sun out it was bearable. We had a couple of days where the high was 8, 10, 12 degrees and I didn't even consider those days at all.
I guess I am a big baby. I never said I was tough. In fact, I rather enjoy snuggling under a blanket on the sofa and looking at the icy roads, knowing that I won't be running on them that day.
But then I look at my meager mileage on RA(www.runnersadvantage.com)and I feel my base slipping away.
I'm still pretty indifferent. I'm not training for anything. Winter running to me is simply there to maintain my base and keep my sanity. Come late February the tides will begin to turn and I am going to have to grit my teeth and get out there. In the meantime I am enjoying the respite and praying for a heat wave.
It doesn't help that this month has been absolutely frigid, so my motivation to go out has been very low. Today it was 15 degrees when I went out for my 4 miles, but with the sun out it was bearable. We had a couple of days where the high was 8, 10, 12 degrees and I didn't even consider those days at all.
I guess I am a big baby. I never said I was tough. In fact, I rather enjoy snuggling under a blanket on the sofa and looking at the icy roads, knowing that I won't be running on them that day.
But then I look at my meager mileage on RA(www.runnersadvantage.com)and I feel my base slipping away.
I'm still pretty indifferent. I'm not training for anything. Winter running to me is simply there to maintain my base and keep my sanity. Come late February the tides will begin to turn and I am going to have to grit my teeth and get out there. In the meantime I am enjoying the respite and praying for a heat wave.
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