So much more than just exercise

I was talking with another woman today about exercising. She asked me how the running was going, and I expressed regret that I am not able to get out and run as much as I would like in the winter. She began to tell me about her treadmill and her membership to the Y. Thank goodness she didn't mention home exercise videos, or I don't know how I would have reacted. You see, I don't really run for the exercise. It does keep me in shape and helps burn off those unwanted calories, but if I was only doing if for the exercise I don't think I would have been able to keep it up for twenty years.
I do it for different reasons, reasons which have changed as I have grown and aged.

When I was a teenager I ran to be competitive. I wanted to be the best-the fastest and the strongest. Many times I was. But I was also a self-conscious runner. I didn't always run for myself or do what my body told me. I ran for my coach, my team, my parents. I felt at times that running was stifling me.

When I was in my twenties I wanted to push myself to the limit. I wanted to test my boundaries and see how far I could go. I became a solitary runner, competitive only with myself. I fell in love with running for the first time, and we had a nice co-dependent relationship.

After I had children I had to fall in love again each time I hit the road after having a baby. Three times I went through that cycle. Each time was easier than the last.

Now, in my thirties and a seasoned runner, I run for the freedom. I cannot imagine running on a treadmill inside my home or a gym. When I run I get away from diapers and dinner and the next load of laundry. I feel the same way I always feel out on the road. Ageless, weightless, exhilirated.

The same feeling I felt when I was ten and I galloped around the backyard pretending I was a horse.
The same feeling as when I was 16 and I ran around the neighborhood in the falling snow.
The same feeling as last summer when I watched the sun rise over the corn fields on my way home in the early morning.

A treadmill can't come close to that.