I've struggled with enjoying the holiday season this year. I've found myself getting caught up in the details and letting the days pass by with a flurry of activity but without anything substantial enough to nourish my soul. So I've been feeling kind of empty and a little melancholy which is very unlike my normal state of being.

A couple of days ago we were driving home from holiday visiting with family and the weather was horrible. It was sleeting and the roads were icy and slick. As we drove North the roads got worse and suddenly we found ourselves skidding across the road. As the van spun out of control and off of the road I found myself oddly calm and accepting of the fate that lay ahead for us. We bounced over an embankment and down an incline and landed on the frozen grass. Immediately I checked the kids and said a prayer of thanks that everyone was unhurt. As B and I collected parts from the van off of the grass and made sure that it was drivable, I was suddenly struck with the holiday spirit that had been eluding me this year. Perhaps it was the reminder that nothing is more important to me than having my family safe and close. Or that no matter what events occur or how packed the schedule is, life rolls on and takes us with it. Most of the time I'm a happy traveler on that road, but sometimes I go kicking and screaming. The relief that washed over me also washed away my worries and petty holiday concerns and left me feeling full with love and thankfulness for my family and my place in this world.

So now on Christmas Eve I am thankful, I am peaceful, and I am basking in the holiday goodness that really is there all of the time underneath the other stuff.



Merry Christmas to you, all of my dear friends!