Five!

My youngest child turned 5 yesterday.



It is my opinion that 5 is the perfect age for your child when you are a parent. I loved the age of 5 with my older two kids. They loved to cuddle and be carried, but they also were big enough to do much on their own. They were curious about how the world worked and were full of endless questions, but they also were forming their own opinions. They were on the verge of really reading and writing, but they still loved to be read to and held on laps. Five is the age when you really begin to see the person your child is becoming, and you love that little person!

My little Miles is the quintessential five year old. He can spend hours sitting still and building a Lego set, but he also has the need to run around the house endlessly as if he doesn't have to ever rest. He wants to learn to ride his bike without training wheels, but he is still afraid to try. He loves to pet soft animals and he can be very gentle and loving to our cats, but he can also visciously chase them with his toy cars and terrorize them with his yelling.

Miles still sleeps with us in our bed most of the time. We can convince him to sleep in his room with his brother once in awhile, but he is so cute and so cuddly that we can't resist letting him in. We know he is our last child, and with the years slipping by so quickly, we want to squeeze in every last cuddle and kiss that we can. It won't be long before those little hands are no longer reaching for ours in the night, and we won't remember the sound of his little voice.

I know that with each child's birthday there is a bittersweetness that is unavoidable. But with FIVE there is so much to enjoy right now!

Necessary chicken post

At one time this blog was pretty much nothing but posts about chickens and running. I am really going to try and not do that again. As much as I enjoy both chickens and running, when I go back and read my entries I almost fall asleep with boredom. I think a once-in-awhile post is timely though, and because yesterday was the first day of SPRING I feel entitled to write a chicken post.

This week I will be putting 10 light sussex chicken eggs into the incubator (pic of light sussex is above). I am extremely excited about this. Last year we didn't hatch out any chicks, and we didn't buy any either. In the fall I culled the flock and only kept my 6 youngest hens and my old, favorite hen that I can't bear to get rid of. So I am only at 7 hens and that entitles me to some baby chicks! I really don't like to keep any more than 10 hens at a time. The coop starts to get crowded over 10, and even though I do sell eggs, it is a pain and I prefer not to do it if I don't have to. Ten hens gives us more than enough eggs for my family, my mother-in-law, my parents and some extra to sell or give to friends.

Right now I have 2 Buckeyes, 2 Welsummers, 1 Austrolorp, 1 Speckled Sussex and my old, favorite Americauna hen who at this point is at least 6 or 7 years old. All of these birds, with the exception of the Americauna are very dark. I really felt the need to get some lighter colors into the flock, and the Light Sussex are gorgeous birds with white feathers and a black neck. In May I have 5 Buff Orpington chicks coming, but I am only going to keep 2 of them and the other 3 are going to a friend. So I am injecting some white and gold into the flock and the result will be a beautiful diversity. I am dreaming about some blue or lavendar to make up a supremely colorful flock, but that will have to wait until next year!

Finding meaning in a meaningless job

This week I am on spring break. I work in a store inside a dormitory at a local university and when the dorm is closed for university breaks I am on vacation :) I really need the break this time. I have been very busy at home and I have been working a lot of extra hours at work and it takes its toll on me.

I started working part time two years ago, and it was a real adjustment for me. I had a very hard time leaving my family. That worked itself out after awhile, and I can honestly say now that the hardest part about working is not being away from my family. The hardest part about working is finding some kind meaning in a meaningless job, and a motivation to work outside of just the money. It is very easy for me to get in a rut where I think about how meaningless my job is, how little money I make, how my health is suffering becuase of my lack of sleep, and how I could easily be replaced by another worker and it wouldn't make a difference to anyone. I feel like my intelligence and my college degree don't matter- and in my job, they don't.

I get very depressed when I start to think this way, and last year I spent a lot of time battling those feelings. This year has been much better, and I have really tried to find ways to make my job more meaningful, and cultivate relationships with my co-workers and students that make working more enjoyable.

It has been a stretch for me. The university students are wonderful. They are quirky and polite and really a joy to talk to. However, the employees are not that way. Most of the people I work with have been beaten down by life, they don't have postive family or home lives, they have major challenges that make my challenges seem very miniscule. Many of them have serious health problems, and most of them are living under the poverty line and collect some kind of government assistance. Over the summer they collect unemployment and they are happy with the work-during-the-school-year/ collect-unemployment-during-the-summer situation.

At this point I have gotten to know my co-workers pretty well, and it has been rewarding for me to be able to break through the facades and cultivate relationships with them. Despite our differences in our economic situation, our education and our values we have been able to form a kind of working family, and it has really made my work situation much more bearable, and at times, *gasp* fun.

It also makes me extremely grateful for the life that I have at home. I have never appreciated my supportive husband and my wonderful children more. When opportunities are presented to me because of our education or our financial security I don't take it for granted. I have been able to appreciate the opportunites that my children are able to experience and I no longer lament the opportunities that they can't take advantage of because of cost. I am around people everyday who can barely feed their own children and it makes my son not being able to take gymnastics very, very insignificant.

Also, I know that this working situation is temporary for me. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. When our debt is paid off I will not longer have to work, it will be optional-and the next time I go back to work it will be using my college degree to begin my working career. My co-workers are there becuase there are no other opportunities for them, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel never ends. Just the thought of that is unbearable to me. The fact that they are able to get up each day, struggle to meet their own needs and the needs of their families, and still work at this monotonous job and find some meaning in it, and even some fun in it is inspirational to me. It really shows me that the human condition and the human spirit are intertwined, but the human spirit usually wins the challenge. Could it be that this job has taught me something, that perhaps I am finding some meaning here after all? Of course it has, of course I am! My spirit has never been stronger!