Just like the rest of them!

I changed my name this week.
No, not my first name-my last name. You know, the one that most people change right after they get married? Well, when I was 23 I definitely was NEVER going to take my husband's last name. That would violate everything I held dear! Keeping my name would stand as a statement of my unwillingness to bend to the status quo. I was young and independent and had my whole adult life ahead of me. Why should marriage change anything? What woman in her right mind would allow those archaic rules of marriage to influence her enough to lose the name she was born with-and lose it to a man?

Now that I am 33 I have a little more perspective. Having a different name from my children was a pain in the a$$. I had to explain it to every new person my husband and I were introduced to. Every time I made an appointment for one of my kids I had to have the receptionist check records for both last names because I could never remember which name I had used. My kids' friends didn't know whether to call me Ms. S or Ms. J. It's wasn't a huge pain in the a$$, but enough of one that a few years ago I started to re-evaluate the reasons I kept my name in the first place.

I have come to realize that these reasons have become null and void with maturity. My feminist sensabilities are more concerned now with real-life issues that women and mothers face. In my opinion keeping my name seemed rather selfish and self-centered- a rally against something that will never change. A woman taking a man's name at marriage is a tradition that is so entrenched in our society, and honestly, what's the big deal? Is anyone hurt by this? Does this put women at any kind of professional or personal disadvantage? I don't think so. I would rather put my energies towards supporting issues that directly affect women.

Plus, after 10 years of marriage I have become a bit of a softie, and I thought it would be nice to share my husband's last name :) So after digging around for my marriage certificate I drove up to the Social Security office and did the deed. I didn't feel any different, but when I got home my daughter presented me with an elaborately decorated sign with my new name on it. "Now you are just like the rest of us", she said.